RATS! Rats! Rats! Rats!

Amassing upgrade points in the small women's fields is like pulling teeth. The number of points awarded depends on the number of racers -- which I understand, its not as hard to beat five other people as it is to beat 15 other people. If only 15 women would show up! If there had been one more racer in my field at Spring Prairie, I would have gotten 7 points instead of 3. Now it turns out there were only four cat 4 racers at Fox River Grove yesterday -- we were combined with the masters racers and its hard to tell who's who. Points are awarded to fields with five or more racers. So despite SOMEHOW managing to win the damn thing, my goal of amassing points is foiled. Not to mention that half the points I have won aren't listed on the USCF site.

I will never get twenty frickin' points.

And I am SO WEARY of my race goal being "get points." Sometimes I want to race for the team. I want to chase down breaks or bridge a teammate across, or give Gigi a strong leadout. I want to be useful. Instead I'm anxiously chasing this upgrade. And my awesome teammates are helping and that's starting to sit heavily on my shoulders.