Just a note to my adorable spouse -- and anyone else who didn't realize I was joking -- I'm not taking any diet aids. As tempting as it is to paint six-pack abs on my belly and pose for my "after" picture, it's not going to happen.

In related news, I was downcast this morning to see Queen Latifah hawking Jenny Craig. Queen's message was great -- lose just 10% of your weight and exercise a little and you greatly reduce your risk for all sorts of health ills -- but Jenny Craig? I admit, I've never tried it, so what do I know. It just seems unrealistic to expect people to maintain a healthy weight if they don't learn HOW to eat right. Of the programs out there, Weight Watchers [which I'm also not participating in] seems to be the one that is the most sensible and "real world" oriented. I mean, how long can you go on Jenny's pre-packaged meals?

I WISH there were some magic bullet that would make losing weight -- and maintaining weight -- easy. But there's not. It's hard. And you're often hungry. You have to give up pleasures like scotch and jelly bellies and soy cream. you have to be incredibly persistent and attentive, never giving up. If the desire to be slim were all it took, Lane Bryant would be out of business overnight.