Still not feeling 100%. I was out on the path just now, spinning a 50-17 into a very stiff headwind and could not keep my HR above 140. It kept dipping down into the 130s. Which is not normal. And I just feel knackered. Ran in to Marc and he says its exhaustion and I need to rest. Just rest. But what exactly does that mean? Get more sleep? Have a rest week? I was off the bike for a week in Italy "resting." Before that I felt really good on the bike.

Ok, now my other dilemma: what to race over Memorial Day weekend? I want to do the stage race in Duluth, but it seems that I'd be the only person on my team going. Which if it were overnight would be fine, but 3 days by myself in Minnesota . . .

I could go to Iowa and race Snake Alley and a couple crits. But that doesn't appeal. I could do the Great Race in Indiana. It was a pretty course last year, and well organized. But my field was small and the local girls were jerks. And it's ABR, I need USAC points if I can get them.

I hate being ambivalent.

Dilemma: on Saturday, should I stay home and race the Monsters of the Midway criterium with a lot of teammates [a race that will net no USAC upgrade points]; or should I drive three hours to the Denzer Delight road race which if I do well will give me upgrade points, but which has a mile long sustained climb. That I'll have to ride twice.

The Monsters' course isn't interesting. But its a team target race and I'd like to race hard with a plan and with strong teammates. And I wouldn't have to pay for gas and, if I drive up Friday evening, lodging. And I've been out of town for the past two weekends. And I'd probably have to drive to Denzer alone.

The Denzer Delight course sounds super fun. And I prefer road racing to crits. I'm not a natural climber, but I'd love to see what I could do on that course. And upgrade points are harder to come by since USAC changed the rules, so I should take every opportunity.

I can't decide.

I saw fuzzy little goslings and fuzzy little ducklings following their mothers around on the path this morning. Its spring!

I went to the Joe Martin Stage Race over the weekend, and the great news is that my teammate Luke was fourth overall in the cat 3 General Classification. Which is AWESOME. He got in a breakaway in the road race, came in fourth and held that position over the rest of the pack in the time trial and criterium. Congratulations, Luke! You worked so hard and you deserve it.

As for me, Joe Martin kicked my ass. Not taking care of myself in Italy, the exhausting jet lag, and being sick with a cold added up to way less than 100%. But even if I had been on form, I would have been outclassed by some of the talent there.

Our RR started about a mile from some seriously long climbs -- where the girls who could shatter the field, did. I gathered a bunch of other stragglers and organized a rotating paceline. [it took lots of shouting, heh] You can really get moving that way! I never quite realized. There were about 5 of us taking hard pulls the entire time - including a tough 13 year old junior girl, fighting her junior gears each time her turn at the front came - and another 5 or so pulling through occasionally. It took us 20 miles, but we caught the first chase group, who were very surprised to see us. [I'm very proud of getting that paceline up and running]. Then I was sitting in, resting and trying to eat [I didn't have enough food, dammit. Would it have killed me to put a clif bar in my pocket?]. I saw a move go, and I was right on it . . . until halfway up the long climb when my legs stopped working. I could not make them go as fast as I needed to and I fell off the back. It was so frustrating! I kept them in sight, but lost a minute. Came in 22. Still, that paceline improved my time immeasurably -- along with the times of about 7 other racers.

I could not recover for the [punishing, uphill] TT. We ate & napped, but I felt sick and weak. I rode at recovery pace for 40 minutes, which helped [although nothing I ate went down well], and then did a proper warmup. However, my time sucked and I came in 28th.

Still felt low-energy Sunday morning. I tried to do a set of 3-2-3 intervals to warm up, but could only manage 1-1-1's. Not a good sign. The crit course was fun -- lots of turns and hills -- but I was shelled after the first lap, and spent the rest of the race catching the person ahead of me, working with them and then riding away from them. I felt stronger as the race went on and I made up 5 or 6 places for 25th . . . as if it mattered. OK, not giving up matters.

So I ended up 24th of 33 in the GC. And totally wrung out. But it was SUPER fun AND I get do-overs -- I plan to do a lot of hard work, come back next year and make the top 10.

I rented a bike in Florence and rode a gorgeous 70 mile loop through chianti on Saturday. I met up with Francesco when he passed me on an uphill and I just about killed myself grabbing and keeping his wheel. After that, I didn't stop and take any pictures of the castles and rolling meadows dotted with grapevines or the adorable 800 year-old towns along the way -- if I could keep up with him, I wouldn't have to continually stop to look at my map. After a few miles, we started picking up other riders and had a little paceline heading back to Florence. It was so much fun! Sadly, they seem to have even fewer women roadies there than we do here. [There was general agreement among the riders that I must be 'deutch' -- do the germans have more women who ride?]

Italy in general was fun and relaxing. I'm embarrassed to say that my Italian consists of 'scuzi,' 'gratzi,' 'il conto,' and 'prego.' The latter having a surprising number of uses. The first two got me through 80% of the trip. Being vegan wasn't a problem as long as you don't mind eschewing all protein. I actually brought Clif product, and ate it daily to supplement all the pasta and pizza. Nothing says 'vacation' like a Builder Bar!

Having sat through quite a few art history classes in my time, I found it bizarre to see paintings from my textbooks all over the museums. Renaissance art isn't really my thing, but walking into a room and seeing how very small the "Madonna by the Sea" actually is, or how luminous Botticelli's "Spring" is . . . is a bit overwhelming. There were many examples of my favorite subject in religious art - the sacred conversation. This is a painting depicting saints from different time periods together, chatting. The virgin Mary, St, Francis of Assisi, John the Baptist, some pope and some cardinal [I'm not catholic] are usual, but occasionally you'd get St. Elizabeth and even St. Lucia [and her dish of eyeballs] in there too. I wonder what they talk about.

So now I'm back, terribly jet-lagged and with a snuffly cold. I'm hoping to catch up on my sleep, at least, before racing this weekend.

Venice is charming! Very touristy, but not in a really cheesy way. All winding stone passages and grand decaying facades. If you want a mask or something made out of glass, this is your spot, but there's also fun stuff here that you wont find elsewhere. Not that I'd want to find any of these masks anywhere else. Yikes.

No where to ride bikes. So many stairs and narrow alleys -- it's a pedestrian city. Walking and boating are the only way to get anywhere. Keep running into people hauling handcarts up and down the stairs. Its easy to get turned around in the maze of streets . . . but not 'lost' really -- nothing is far enough away to really be lost.

I'm glad we came, it's delightful and relaxing.