Unexceptional Girl Racer

2010-09-23T14:31:00.007-05:00

Photo by Jeremey,

First race in the Chicago Cross Cup series - SUCH an excellent series! - Jackson Park. I raced the women's cat 4s along with 51 other women! A HUGE field.

My goal was to finish in the top ten so I'd get a call up at the next chi cross cup race. I had a pretty good start, but once we hit the trees, women started shooting past me. A LOT of women. Not good. But I rode a clean race -- didn't fall, didn't get tangled up. I'm slow over the barriers, but pretty fast on the straights. I worked hard at catching the racers ahead of me, passing them and dropping them. It was super fun! I ended up 11th -- so didn't quite make my goal. Something to work for.

And really, not good enough to upgrade. Yes, this is my third year racing 'cross as a cat 4. I've never won. Last year, I don't think I broke the top five. I would love a longer race, but I've seen too many women cat up and spend the rest of their race days fighting as hard as possible to be 'not last'. I do that enough on the road -- I want to have FUN in 'cross. That said, catting up's not out of the question. We'll see how the season goes.

Photo by Vladimir Istomin.

I got a call up to the line in the men's 4b race. It was CROWDED up there -we were shoulder to shoulder. The whistle blew and I started sprinting and [I later learned] the guy next to me unclipped mid-stroke and fell into me. I crashed in the middle of 75 guys in a mad dash for the hole shot. These guys will ride over you -- I covered my head until the bulk was by. Then I leapt up, jumped on my bike . . . to find my seat was sideways. Off the bike, pound it with my fist until it's straight, jump back on and CHASE. The back of the pack was in the willows by the time I was off.

I caught up with the back and started passing guys. Hey -- Flannel Mike has a cross bike! I would ramp it up in the straights and speed past, trying to go fast enough to break their will to chase me. Coming through the start/finish, the lap counter says '2'. RATS! Only three laps to make up ground. I was counting on four.

On my last lap, I passed an unattached guy in a blue jersey. He did NOT like that. He got right on my wheel and at the first set of barriers, passed me back. I got by him again after the baseball diamond, and he once again glued himself to my wheel. At the second barrier, he got around me, but I passed him immediately on the straight -- I knew I had to put some distance between us before the third barrier, so I hit the S curves hard, powered back across the lawn to the little hill. Rode through the off-camber maze -- couldn't stop for the money monkey -- pushed super hard and could see that I was gapping him. I rode harder, and it worked -- I got to the third barrier, got over and back on my bike. As I started to pedal I could see him in my peripheral vision just beside and behind me, so I sprinted away, took the curves as fast as I dared and when it opened up into the start finish, stood up and rode as hard as I could and I beat him! I hear him say "I can't believe I got beat by a girl!" Dude, you got beat by a woman who gave you a whole minute head start. Heh.

I ended up 50th of 75. I cannot wait for the next race!

2010-09-14T11:17:00.002-05:00

I'm depressed.

My racing this past season has been truly unexceptional and it's gotten me down. I work really hard. I spend a significant portion of my life training. I want to do well.

My best results this year: third place in the 1-2-3 field at Leland Kermesse in April and second place in a cat 4 tempo race at the track in August. Both of which I'm proud of - but they aren't nearly enough. Wins: Zero. Zilch. Zed. Upgrade points: 3 (from Leland).

Everything else has ranged from completely undistinguished to absolutely mortifying.

I pinned a lot of hopes on Master's Nationals in early August. And I felt pretty good going in. But it rained and I slid out and crashed in a slippery corner and that was the end of that. Down the drain.

The worst part is that I can't get the negativity out of my head. I don't feel good about my performances and now every training ride is NOT GOOD ENOUGH. My efforts are no longer building blocks to something greater, they are reviled as puny and pathetic. I'm Eeyore.

The Chicago Cyclocross Cup starts on Sunday. I plan to race the series. And I fully expect to be just as mediocre as I was last year - not strong or skilled enough to win, but doggedly placing between fifth and tenth. If I'm lucky -- the Jackson Park women's cat 4 race has SOLD OUT. I'll be racing 49 women instead of 19. I'm really thrilled about this -- I'm so happy that women's racing is taking off! To win THIS race would be *something.* Something I strongly suspect I will never experience. It's crushing. I can't seem to shake off the bitterness and just enjoy it for what it is.

And - despite being solidly unexceptional - I'm still accused of sandbagging in the cat 4s in 'cross! Why would I want to cat up? Yes, I'd have a 45 minute race in the 1-2-3s, instead of the 30 minute cat 4 race, but I'd be back in a field of seven women, DEEP in cat 3 limbo. If they scored the cat 3 women separately, it would be one thing. But racing as hard as I can to finish sixth instead of LAST is nowhere near as much fun as racing in a field of 50 where my hard work allows me to crush half the competition.

---

On Sunday I raced the ABR Team Time Trial National Championships in lovely Leonore, IL. My TTT teammates from the past two years, Heidi and Eileen were unable to race this year, so I had a whole new team: Mia, who's flying and has been on a winning streak; Courtney, recently returned from riding across the U.S.; and Natalie a strong racer whose work has interfered with her training lately.

We were able to get together to practice only twice. We'd all raced the TTT last year, so we pretty much knew what to do, but we were a bit ragged. The race was in a new spot this year, slightly farther away, so we all arrived behind schedule. And then my rear race wheel decided it was a *great* time to refuse to hold air. But we got ourselves together, pinned our numbers, warmed up for seven to ten minutes and got ourselves to the start on time.

On the line, Courtney leans over and says that she feel awful. I can relate - I'm still stressed out from the scramble and my legs are barely warm and I'm pissed that my race wheel is broken. I reassure her that we'll be OK - we'll warm up quickly in the race. And then the clock counts down and we're off. And Courtney was not lying, she was having one of those devastatingly bad days where your body simply refuses to do what you tell it to. We gapped her. We waited and she caught on and almost immediately she was gapped again. We waited.

Within the first mile, she asked us to go without her. Which meant the three of us left HAD TO finish together - your finishing time is taken from the third rider.

We hauled ass into the headwind and quickly passed the team four minutes ahead of us. That was encouraging. In the tailwind, Mia ramped us up to 30 mph and we sailed along in her wake for minutes at a time. The longest stretches of the race had an unrelenting crosswind. Mia continued to anchor. I would pull through and concentrate on not dropping speed for as long as I possibly could so Mia could rest. Natalie floated at the back, going from my wheel to Mia's wheel, back to mine. Mia, sitting upright on her brake hoods, would haul us into the wind while I crouched in my aero bars, barely clinging to her wheel. She was incredible. And Natalie pulled herself inside out. I gave everything I had, I only wish I had more.

We finished fifth, two minutes off fourth and four minutes off third. Not bad I guess, considering.

I would like to say 'next year we'll have it together! Next year we'll practice and we'll all have aero equipment and we will trounce all the Alberto's and Project 5 girls.' But that's what I said last year. I don't know what will happen. I hope we'll have more success.

2010-09-01T11:26:00.004-05:00

I've been remiss. I joined Facebook and stopped posting race recaps here. But I have been racing quite a lot.

This is the time of year that I get a bit burned out. It's not so bad this year, but I'm still feeling it. I'm looking forward to cyclocross season and planning to race at the track a couple more times and do the team time trial. But right now, I want to relax a bit, see a movie, hang out with Jackie, shop. And - dare I dream - sleep in.

So . . . I took second place in a cat 4 tempo race at the track last week! It's my best placing at the track -- and sadly, my best placing all year so far. In a tempo race, points are awarded to the first two people to cross the start/finish line every lap - two points for the first to cross and one point to the second. So its a super hard race - one that never lets up. It being just the cat 4 women was great - without the 1-2-3 women, I'm one of the stronger racers [with them, I just try to hang on].

Track is a great interval workout for me - it increases my fitness drastically. And it helps with my abysmal pack skills - or I hope it will, I feel a bit like the bull in the china shop in a fast track race. I need to be able to control my track bike better.

This past Sunday was the first cyclocross race of the season. The brilliant brainchild of one of my teammates, it was a tag-team relay 'cross race. Everyone raced in teams of two, trading off laps. I raced the women's open and the co-ed races. Natalie, my partner in the women's race, was a hero - she sprinted the 100 yards to the transition station AND rode the first lap. I really enjoyed the race, the skills - such as I have them - came right back. I'm not as powerful as I want to be [am I ever?], but I managed to catch and pass a couple women. Nat and I finished a respectable fifth.

It was 96 degrees by the time the co-ed race started. This was a short race, three laps each. My partner, Paolo, established us solidly in the first half of the race and I did my best to improve our placing. We finished 18th of 49.

I was really blown away by how strong and fast a lot of the women have gotten. I'll need to up my game significantly to compete. I'm weary of being pack fodder! Time to break some legs.

2010-06-01T12:44:00.006-05:00

Photo courtesy of Paolo Urizar

Got a last minute ride (thanks, Todd!) out to DeKalb for Half Acre's Gravel Metric on Sunday. This 62-ish mile ride on gravel, dirt, and a bit of pavement was not officially a race, but of course, I was racing.

I decided to take my road bike. I felt fine on it at Leland, and I didn't want the rolling resistance from my 'cross tires. And, frankly, my 'cross bike still has Montrose Harbor all over it. When we arrived, though, almost everyone had 'cross or mountain bikes. Only a couple of us had our road bikes - and everyone kept telling us how 'brave' (i.e. foolish) we were.

After the neutral roll-out, I made sure to be near the front. There was a wicked cross-wind, so I was staying tucked in next to Dave Norton. As soon as he said "someone's going to jump soon," someone jumped. He was on it, and I was on him and we were flying up the road.

We hit the first gravel section and just hammered. The guy in front of me let a gap open up, I darted around and closed it. Then we hit some deep gravel and I fishtailed just enough to get myself shelled. But I had a good gap on the groups behind me.

Pretty soon, Paolo comes by, towing the guy who'd been gapped earlier. I got on that train. Paolo was setting a brutal pace - he was SO steady that I was able to stick with him for a bit, but I was on the rivet. At the first uphill, I was on my own again. Which was fine. I set my own pace and rode within myself. Turning into the tailwind, I felt great and caught a couple guys that Paolo had caught and left behind. I kept my pace and worked with them to the first checkpoint.

Where I made the mistake of not filling up my waterbottles. A group was leaving just as we arrived, so I hurriedly checked in and rode off with these guys. Turning into the headwind, there was another group of four or five just ahead - so I bridged my group up and we had a long paceline.

I took my turns at the front, but bridging had taxed me, and I had run out of liquids. Before we got to the second checkpoint, I was gapped on a hill. I chased for a long time, but never caught back on. They were at the second checkpoint when I got there, but I HAD to fill my bottles, and by then they were gone.

So I was alone again, riding within myself. I was a bit dehydrated and starting to feel ill. I was forcing myself to eat, but everything was gross. But I had full bottles, and I drank often.

I got to the point in the course where you could choose to take a longer, 'easier' way, or a shorter way that took you through a creek. I'd had absolutely no problems at all with my road bike on the gravel, but everyone was making the short way sound so ominous, so I took the longer route. I suspect I was the only person to do this. The first leg of the 'easier' way was down an insanely rutted dirt tractor path. A mountain bike would have been VERY handy through there. Then a paved stretch into the headwind, then finally a gravel road back to the regular route.

I could see groups crossing the road I was on, I must have lost at least ten places by going around (and later found out that the creek was shallow and had a cement bottom - no problem on a road bike). So I chased a couple guys ahead of me, passed them as one bonked and they stopped. Then I came across 10 guys standing around while one changed a flat, and passed them by too. I slowed to eat a Clif Bar, and the two guys I rode with in the tailwind before the first checkpoint caught up. I sat on and let them tow me to the third - and completely awesome - checkpoint.

Checkpoint three had cold water. And cokes, cookies, bananas, peanut m&ms, chips, and all sorts of other stuff. They handed me a coke and filled my bottle for me. I ate a banana. The group of guys changing the flat showed up, so we all embarked on the last 22 miles together.

Despite feeling sick to my stomach, I had a bit of a second wind. After a few miles, we let one guy ride away from us and dropped a couple others. I sat in with two guys on 'cross bikes. I felt badly that I wasn't able to take any pulls, but they were so nice. They didn't mind me sitting in most of the time.

We were all feeling the heat and the miles. It was really grueling. When we finally got to town - Sarah Lu was there pointing us in the right direction. "You're in the top 20," she yelled. That gave me a boost, so I pulled us through town. The endless town! Finally we got back to the bike shop. I collapsed into the grass with the hard men who finished before me, while the awesome Half Acre volunteers gave me water.

I WAS in the top 20, and I was the first woman to finish. Yay!

But, man, did I feel AWFUL. I had all sorts of recovery food - a sandwich, salty pretzels, a builder bar - but I couldn't eat any of it. Nothing appealed in the least. Finally, I got my sandwich, but after one bite, threw it away.

My carpool went to the after party at Fatty's bar to eat. Half Acre knows how to have a party! They had a couple kegs of free beer there. We all sat in the beer garden and a very nice server in short shorts brought me a root beer, a veggie burger and big, soft, plank-like french fries. Soft, bland, sugary and salty - just what I needed.

By the time they gave me a CASE OF BEER! for being the first woman to finish, I felt much better. I gave away three of the six packs, and took one home for Jackie.

Thanks again, Half Acre - you're a class act. Next year, I'm going through that creek.

2010-05-24T09:37:00.003-05:00

Did my longest ride to date on Saturday -- 157 miles. Last year Coach initiated the Eric Sprattling Memorial Three States Ride -- Eric Sprattling was a founding member of xXx, an experienced racer and a mentor to his teammates. He regularly did a 'three states ride," north to Wisconsin, south to Indiana and back. It was the day before Spring Prairie last year, so I only did the Wisconsin leg. I was excited to do the whole thing this year.

After a century, I still felt good! That was cool. And while I was pretty done in by the end, I recovered quickly -- well, I haven't attempted intervals or anything yet. We'll see tomorrow.

It was fun! I'll definitely do it again [and bring more food with me - buying a bun from McDonald's for the carbs was pretty gross].

2010-05-19T13:11:00.002-05:00

The second fitness check time trial was this morning and my time was abysmal. Almost two minutes off my best time and one minute slower than last year at this time. WTF!! I should be improving.

I don't feel like I can blame the injured ribs - they really aren't much of a factor anymore. They interrupted my training a bit, but still. TWO MINUTES?

I hate being slow.

2010-05-17T15:10:00.002-05:00

Had a great time at Monsters of the Midway on Saturday. SO many more women are racing and so many of them are STRONG.

I got there a bit late and had to rush to register and pin my number for the 3/4 at 8:45 am. The pace was high with lots of attacks until Stacy Appelwick - who placed third at Tour of Gila this year - rolled off the front with 5 to go. I saw her and thought, 'let her dangle and waste her energy - we can catch her.' But then she had 15 seconds on the field. I could see she was struggling and knew if we got organized and worked, we could pull her in. I went to the front and put in a dig, as did my teammates Maggie and Courtney, and a couple other racers worked hard too, but most of the pack wouldn't pull through. The will just wasn't there. So I though 'fine, sprint for second place. I'm not going to win a sprint anyway, what do I care?!'

Stacy stayed off and won. Coming around corner 2 for our last lap, I knew I had to improve my position. I got around a woman who was slow in the corners and took a good line through corners 3 & 4, managing to pass half the field. I actually participated in the sprint - not at the FRONT of the sprint, but still. Ginger from Project 5 pipped me at the line and I finished 12th of 38.

The women's Open was at 1:20 pm. There were fewer of us in this field - 20, I think - but LOTS of talent. Stacy was joined by her Bulldog teammate Val Bostrom, Leah and Kristen were there from Flatlandia, Project 5, Mack and Kenda and teammates Courtney and Natalie all stayed for this second race. Oh my god, this race was hard. I tend not to have good legs for the first lap or two, and it was all I could do to cling to the pack. For the prime sprints, the elastic streeeetched but somehow did not break. I really focused on my cornering, not letting any gap open up so I wouldn't have to work as hard on the other side.

After 35 minutes or so, the pace slowed. A couple dropped riders managed to catch back on. I considered attacking, but I knew I didn't have a chance in hell of succeeding, and stood a good chance of ending up dropped. So I went to the front and took a long pull. Not a very fast pull, but everyone was content to sit behind me and wait for the last lap.

Leah took the front and set a blistering pace on that last lap, leading out her teammate Kristen Meshberg. My cornering was solid, but this pack wasn't letting anyone by - I finished just behind the sprint, beating only the soft-pedaling Leah to the line. But I'm not ashamed of a pack finish in that race - it was the hardest flat race I've ever done.

Thanks to everyone who helped put on this race - it was a FUN day.

2010-05-10T16:28:00.006-05:00

Joe Martin Stage Race.

I went knowing that I wouldn't be at my best - the crash last Sunday did a number on my ribs. I didn't really know what to expect, but I wanted to have fun and get the most out of the experience.

I drove down to Arkansas Thursday night with some teammates and we spent Friday checking out the different courses and getting an easy hour of riding in. Saturday morning, my time trial time was earliest, so we were all at the TT course by 7 am. I sat on a CycleOps trainer [the Saris trainer tents, open to all, were fantastic!] for 40 minutes, fretting about my lack of computer, about what I was wearing, about my nutrition . . . about pretty much everything. I rode down to the start house 10 minutes early -- to find I was to go off in about a minute and a half. They were running things early and hadn't publicized that fact very well.

I had borrowed a TT helmet from Chicago woman racing in the pro 1-2 field, and I had my skinsuit and some borrowed shoe covers too -- even though this is an uphill TT, the first part is flat and every tenth of a second counts! I was the only 3/4 with any sort of aero equipment, and the other girls teased me for it. I laughed and told them I was wearing it in the road race too.

I had an OK start, but I really missed having a computer to tell me my speed and time. But as soon as I turned the corner and hit the hill, I spotted the woman 30 seconds ahead and started trying to reel her in. I feel like I gave everything I had -- I never quite caught her, but got within 5 seconds. Halfway up, the woman who ended up winning rode by me like I was standing still. I crossed the line just destroyed -- and the millisecond I crossed that line, my ribs exploded with pain. I couldn't breathe, let alone cough -- and after an effort like that, you have to cough. I ended up needing help to get off my bike. All for a lousy 13:59.39 -- almost 3 minutes off the leader. Arg.

The wonderful guy who was hosting our team at his home was there ready to drive me to the road race which, for me, started before noon. I didn't get a great warmup, but my legs felt good and my bike was ready to roll. I felt very comfortable in the pack - able to move into openings and improve my position in ways I hadn't felt able to do at Hillsboro. The attack that came at the first serious hill got my blood flowing and my head in the game. There were a few digs here and there, but the climbers were content to wait for the loooong steeeep hill about 15 miles in. I saw it coming and I quailed. I gave it all I had, but I'm just not fast enough uphill right now. I was off the back.

I picked up a couple other girls and organized a rotating paceline and we got some speed going. We worked really well together. We picked up some more girls . . . and the organization fell apart. One or two women either wouldn't work or wouldn't pull off and we slowed down and I was pissed off so I thought 'fine, LET her pull.' Which was stupid because we all lost time. With organization we could have caught more racers and finished minutes sooner which would have moved us all up on the General Classification.

I was able to stay with the attacks up the final hills and finished with a small group -- crossed the line last of that group since my legs continue to refuse to sprint. It was a gorgeous day, and good, hard ride -- but not the race I wanted.

My crit on Sunday was the first crit to go off at 8 am. I was up at 6 and at the course by 7. I rode the course over and over, getting the feel of all the corners -- they'd changed the course this year. But I was cranky and tired and sore and frankly, I didn't want to race. But I lined up and halfway through the first lap, I was loving it. There's a steep-ish power hill leading up to the start/finish line and OF COURSE I got dropped there on the first lap. So frustrating! I chased for another lap, then spent the rest of the race catching and dropping other girls. My HED stinger wheels just carved through the corners and that gave me a huge advantage. It was like cyclocross -- bridge up, break her spirit, ride away. Except at 25 minutes it wasn't nearly long enough. I was really starting to feel good when they rang the bell for the last lap. I caught one more woman and we traded pulls. She attacked me on the false flat before the final corner, but I grabbed her wheel and rode up the final hill behind her. I came around her with a burst of speed -- too soon! She matched it, we fought, and I lost at the line. 16th of 30. 23rd on the GC.

So many good things this weekend -- I watched my teammates labor, some of them winning great victories, some turning themselves inside out showing amazing courage, some marked and hobbled by the field. All in all, a success for xXx.

Next year - next year we need more women at this race! And next year I will make it to the top of that climb WITH the field. Yes I will.

2010-05-05T12:01:00.003-05:00

This morning's ride: Energy - A; Legs - B+; breathing - C; seated climbing - C; concentration - D; standing climbing - F; sprinting - F; chasing down and dropping the hairy legged guy with SPDs - A+.

Pain was very distracting in general and occasionally excruciating - but once my competitiveness kicked in, it receded. Should be able to race.

2010-05-04T16:21:00.003-05:00

Bruised ribs are incrementally less painful each day. PHEW! They hurt so much Sunday night, I was really worried I had a fracture. But I am now hopeful that I will feel good enough to race this weekend -- not only am I looking forward to it, I had to pre-register for Joe Martin Stage Race and I don't want to lose the $100 if I don't have to. I may even sleep lying down tonight!

That's me with the ice pack, celebrating Gina's victory. (photo by Luke Seaman)

2010-05-03T11:11:00.004-05:00

I drove the three and a half hours to Baraboo, Wisconsin on Saturday for the Circuit of Sauk road race. This was a last minute decision -- its a long drive for a race only 30 miles long. But its hilly, so I thought it would be good training for Joe Martin stage race next weekend. And Jackie was out of town, so I went.

And when I got there, realized I'd forgotten to bring a jersey. I ended up racing in my orange base layer and xXx arm warmers from a few seasons ago. Snappy! Without pockets, I had gels stuck in the tops of the arm warmers. Heh.

Circuit of Sauk has a serious hill - its loooong and steep and it breaks up the pack. I was off the back halfway up that hill. I spent the rest of that lap alone, battling the wind, catching and dropping a stray racer. The next time up the hill I passed two more, one of whom stuck with me and we worked together and picked up two more racers.

After the long descent with the treacherous crosswinds, we were down to three. I waited too long to attack - my legs had no sprint in them - so I came in 13th right after 11 and 12.

Afterwards I rode the course two more times with the Flatlandia girls - great training in beautiful scenery!

---

Sunday, I planned to race the women's 3/4 and the women's open at Vernon Hills. I'm not a great crit racer, but its fun and good practice. The 3/4 was really fast and there were a ton of attacks. I put in a few myself, but nothing got off the front.

I found myself near the back at the beginning of the last lap, so I started to move up the outside - better to take some wind and improve your position. The last lap of a crit is always aggressive and occasionally sketchy - a Team Kenda rider went down and took out my teammate Courtney right in front of me. I had no where to go but on top of them.

I hate crashing, but its part of the sport. I got off easiest - bruised ribs [that are WAY more painful than they are serious], and my bike seems mostly OK. Not sure how this will affect Joe Martin next weekend. I'll see how I feel in a few days.

On the good side, my teammate Gina Romero WON! And Heidi came in fourth. A great showing for xXx!!

2010-04-21T12:05:00.002-05:00

Just looked up the official rules on upgrading, and learned I have 4 upgrade points! I thought I'd only get 1 for Leland. 21 more to go.

2010-04-20T11:05:00.007-05:00

Photo - Gavin Gould

Leland - Kermesse was on Saturday. Not only was the course a total soul-crusher [this is a good thing], Flatlandia really outdid themselves putting it on. Thanks, guys!

The women's fields were combined, but scored separately. We started with 34 racers - 11 in the 1,2,3 field. Flatlandia took early initiative, running a rotating paceline into the 25 mph crosswinds. I sat close behind. There were a number of super strong women in this race, so I wasn't at all sure how things would play out.

The course has three sections of gravel roads - long and treacherous with at most a single narrow strip you could ride safely, and that was rutted and unpredictable. I made sure I was near the front going in - smart move as Pony Shop's Jessica Hill [the 2009 cyclocross champ] hit it HARD - we flew down the dirt, inches apart, at 29 mph. When we emerged onto the pavement, four of us had a gap - Jessica, Kristen from Flatlandia, Janette from Cuttin' Crew and me. I WAS IN THE BREAK!

Photo - Gavin Gould

We organized ourselves quickly - with the crazy strong winds we had to cooperate to make this break stick, even with Kristen's teammates blocking the rest of the pack. For two laps, we rotated on the pavement and took care of each other on the gravel. As we began our fourth lap, we realized Jessica was gone - the big attacks on the first lap finally took their toll.

I wasn't in much better shape on that fourth lap, truth be told. And I really missed the rest a fourth person pulling through gives you. My legs had no snap left. I did my best not to let my fatigue show, but after a while, it was clear I was not a threat.

But my endorphins were having a party in my brain and I was filled with sentimental appreciation for my breakmates. I laughed at myself, but then Kristen said it out loud -'I love you guys! I want to give you both a big hug as soon as we cross the finish line!' Janette agreed - 'but until then, we're enemies!'

We rode into the finishing stretch three abreast. Janette jumped, Kristen was on her, I grabbed Kristen's wheel and stood up to sprint . . . and my legs said 'OH HEEEELL NO!' I sat back down and rode in third - my first podium as a cat 3! AND my first upgrade point. AND payout!

It was a super hard and super fun race. Thanks again, Flatlandia!

Photo - Steve Hansen

2010-04-13T12:55:00.002-05:00

I've been organizing a training camp for my team's Women's Development Program. When I first joined xXx five years ago, the camp I attended in San Luis Obispo made such an impression on me - I learned SO much and just totally fell in love with the rigor of training for bike racing. I wanted to give this to the women on the team that couldn't come to SLO because of time and money constraints.

A number of the women on the team that I envisioned taking part in the camp can't attend for various reasons, but we still had so many sign up that we have to rent a second cabin. A lot of new faces just getting started - as wet behind the ears as I was at my first camp. I'm excited!

---

Planning to race Leland-Kermesse on Saturday. 100k road race - flat and windy with long stretches of gravely dirt roads. I'm really looking forward to it. http://lelandkermesse.blogspot.com/

2010-04-12T16:16:00.002-05:00

I did my fifth, sixth and seventh races this season over the weekend. Saturday was the 'Hell of Downstate', Hillsboro-Roubaix. The women's 123 race was 59 miles of narrow, bumpy, gravelly, twisty roads. We started with 47 racers - a handful intent on getting a free ticket to the prestigious Nature Valley race later this year.

Last year, I stuck with the pack for about 7 minutes - I was shelled ignominiously on the first hill. I made up some ground and had a good race overall, but not the race I wanted.

This year, I stuck with the pack for almost an hour. My pack skills still need work - I ended up sitting on the back where it's way too easy to get bounced right off. The second time that happened it stuck.

My teammate Heidi was gapped along with me, so we TTed together as the group got farther and farther away. We finished the first lap together, but were separated on the descent onto the bricks. I sighted another shelled racer in the distance and worked to catch. When I got her, we worked together and picked up two more women - one of whom we dropped quickly. I organized a rotating paceline and three of us caught up to a group of five - including Leah from Flatlandia and Kathy from Project 5, two racers I can't touch in a 30 minute crit. So now we had eight rotating through - until three, including Kathy, just disappeared off the back.

The five of us remaining worked together well. Until I realized one woman wasn't pulling through. When I gestured, she told me she was struggling just to stick with us and didn't have the energy. Well, this is a RACE - no one gets a free ride to the finish line. 'Everyone works' I said, and we stopped rotating. The girl on the front slowed down and we all rode silently for a couple minutes until the racer on the back recovered and rode up to the front. We all cooperated after that.

The feed hill was deserted when we got there. We went up together - I felt good and moved to the front easily. I pulled through the flat section and started up the second hill. Two of the women started pushing the pace and I countered. I got a little gap! I pushed HARD through the false flats at the top and then bombed the descent onto the bricks, opening up my lead. Then the interminable blocks of bricks - I didn't let up. I glanced back a few times and couldn't see anyone close. Onto the finishing stretch, I forced my legs to keep working. I stood up for the last 200 meters - and crossed the line 10 seconds ahead of the first chaser! I 'won' my group!

And finished 32nd overall.

All in all, a super fun, hard race. Next year - pack finish!

2010-03-04T16:21:00.005-06:00

Haven't posted since cross season ended - sorry. I'm on my way to training camp tomorrow. Eight days in lovely San Luis Obispo, California, riding and riding and riding. We look forward to this all year long.

I'm really starting to get excited.

Cupcake Handup

2009-11-24T15:38:00.006-06:00

Thanks to Luke Seemann for the photos!

2009-11-23T10:29:00.004-06:00

Photo by John Wrycza.

Last year, Woodstock was a good race for me. I had second place tied up until I slid out in the last off-camber turn before the finishing stretch and ended up third - my best placing.

Pre-riding the almost identical course this year though, I felt really leaden. Totally low-energy. I couldn't muster the will to run the run-up or do more than step slowly over the barriers. Still, I rode it four times before the masters went off. Then I took a nap in my car.

I lined up after a lackluster warm-up - got a good spot thanks to my call-up - and didn't have a terrible start. Not a great start - I didn't get the hole shot or anything - but I didn't get trapped behind a whole bunch of slower riders either. And once I was out there, I didn't feel too bad at all.

By the last lap, I had caught and passed a number of riders, and had my two teammates, Natalie and Courtney, in sight. I haven't been close to Courtney since Jackson Park. In the maze, Kathy from Project 5 and a junior crashed and the three of us xXxers got in front of her. I worked hard to catch and pass Natalie, but she's SO much better at the barriers than I, I kept falling back. After the run-up, I could see she was faltering - and I should have sprinted around her then - but once we got into the finishing turns, there was no opportunity to pass and she out-sprinted me. We finished third, fourth and fifth - so I finally broke into the top five!

Photo by John Wrycza

I was so buzzed after that, I was excited to race the men's 4bs. I'm not much for beer, so I brought a leftover bottle of Canadian Club [aren't all bottle of Canadian Club sort of left over?] and disposable shot glasses. I like whiskey, I like handups, this seemed like a great combination.

There were two other women in the men's race this week, my teammate Courtney and Katie from Spidermonkey. We got called up to the front of the line along with the Turin guy in the Turkey suit. Heh. I got a pretty good start again, but did get held up behind the Turin turkey for a third of the lap. But once around, I made up some ground. A bunch of guys passed me, but I also passed a few of them back. It was a fast, fun race.

The hecklers were all stationed at the run-up after the second barrier. Dozens of people taunting racers with SPAM, pixie sticks, beer, twizzlers, cupcakes, candy orange slices, cheeto's and, yes, whiskey. On my second lap I got a red velvet mini cupcake - yum. Except for the frosting all over my brake levers. Third lap I spotted the whiskey and grabbed a shot glass, downed the contents and tossed the glass over my head. Went down easy. And then rapidly made me downright tipsy and a bit dizzy. Whisky has quite an effect with your heart rate at 90%. Seriously, its a BAD idea.

I grappled with that for a while - until I realized Courtney was just ahead of me. I managed to pass her in the start/finish stretch, but she got right on my wheel and stayed there to the barriers, where she got right around me and back on her bike while I was still stepping over the second barrier. I chased hard and got close again - but we hit the barrier at heckle hill, and again she proved way more adept than I and opened up a little gap. I again attempted to close before we crossed the road into the off-camber turns, but just couldn't quite make it. She passed another rider and he got in my way a bit - and then he too put in a big final effort and finished ahead of me.

I ended up 38 out of 75 - which I was mighty pleased with. No more whiskey handups, though.

2009-11-16T13:49:00.006-06:00

photo by Alan T.

I raced cross at Indian Lakes on Sunday. Damn, cross is SO MUCH FUN!!!

The South Chicago Wheelmen managed to put on an even better race than last year, somehow convincing a golf resort to let us race on their course. So mostly flat with a couple sand traps, a bit of mud and a number of long straights. A good course for a road rider with iffy cross skills like me.

First, I raced the women's cat 4 category. The woman leading the series upgraded this week, so I was bumped up to 7th in the overall series standings. I had an OK start for me, ended up knocking elbows all through the first chicane, going over the first barriers haphazardly and not being able to remount in the crush. I ran the hill instead and the crowd thinned out by the time I hit the sand traps. I was able to ride 2/3s of the first sand pit, but the exit lip was too steep and I had to dismount [with varying degrees of grace] each lap, then run to the next sand pit. I started picking off women one by one - there was always someone in sight. When one of the older juniors came by, I grabbed his wheel and drafted through the headwind. I was able to use the paved stretch to pass quite a few people. On my last lap, I had someone in sight - but she could see me gaining on her and pushed hard. I finished 10 seconds behind her in 6th place - getting closer to the top five!

AND I finished in the money! There was actual payout for the cat 4 women - THANK YOU, South Chicago Wheelmen!

photo by Liz Farina Markel

Then I raced the men's 4B race for the first time. SUCH fun. Of the 75 racers, 8 of us were women - so everybody knew our names. Along the whole course, 'Tamara! Go, Tamara! Tamara! Wheeeee!

My start wasn't fantastic, but I was aggressive. Coming to the second barrier in my first lap, I slid out, stepped onto the side of my ankle and bit it hard. I heard the ankle crack and was momentarily worried I'd actually really hurt myself. But I jumped up and nothing seemed seriously awry, so I got over the barrier, ran up the hill and forgot about the whole thing until I saw my bloody knee after the race.

Cuttin' Crew carried their couches to the top of the hill and taunted me with MGD on every lap [next week I'm going to bring Canadian Club and hand up shots. WHISKEY!] But the real action was at the sand pits - an ever narrowing alley of fans brandishing twizzlers and cupcakes and dollar bills and golf balls and cans of Fat Tire. One lap I got a cupcake - the bite I got was delicious. I grabbed a dollar bill from a woman who seemed pretty surprised - and another that was dangling in front of my face. I took a couple beers and then handed them back up the line.

And all the while I was going all out. On the last lap, I started closing in on Katie from Spidermonkey. We'd joked earlier about which one of us would win a one up sprint - I figured it would be her since she always starts better than I do. I passed her on the paved stretch and held her off through the series of chicanes. I hit the last bit of pavement and gunned it as hard as I could. I actually sprinted in the drops all the way to the line - and finished in front her. Woooo! 46th out of 75 - not terrible. And I'm definitely doing it again next week!

photo by Luke Seeman

2009-11-05T14:00:00.002-06:00

I am so tired today - really dragging. I'm on the cusp of getting sick. Somehow, I have to find the energy to jog this evening.

I'm waiting for the bank to call me back. I've called twice and both times was promised a return call within 15 minutes. I'm going to have to call again.

2009-11-02T17:09:00.003-06:00

St. Charles cross was yesterday - the day after Halloween, so costumes were mandatory. I lucked into a skirted ice skating costume, so of course I went as Tanya Harding.

Bicycle Heaven put on a great race - the course was 90% the same as last year [and last year's course ROCKED] with the addition of buckets of mud. Half a lap in, you were completely filthy. And once you went through the two ditches, each with a foot or so of watery mud, you were covered. I don't think I've ever been so muddy - certainly my bike never has.

I got a good spot on the front line and was determined to be aggressive. I never get a very good start and it hurts me. At the whistle, I jumped - but the women on either side of me jumped faster. The start was pretty narrow, both women near me, wobbled inward towards me, I had nowhere to go but too much velocity . . . I went down. Five feet from the starting line. By the time I was up and out, I was last. So my race turned into 'catch and pass.'

We only had three laps. The first took me past 15 or so racers. I finally had my HED stingers set up for cross and they just floated uphill and over grass. By the second lap I had Katie from Spidermonkey and Jamie from Cuttin' Crew in sight. I got around Katie, but Jamie is just better at the skills than I am. But each lap, I rode the mud better and faster. I chased Jamie up the hill on lap three, trailed her over the barrier and into the field - and finally managed to ride past as we crested. I concentrated on putting space between us. Unfortunately, no one else was in sight.

When the race ended, I still felt fresh. 30 minutes is just not enough. But there was nothing to do but wipe the mud off my teeth and congratulate the winners. I managed to come in 11th out of 29 - not bad considering, but still a bit of a disappointment.

I am very much looking forward to next week at Northbrook. I HOPE the stairs are part of the course again!

2009-10-28T09:40:00.003-05:00

SO SORE! I started plyometrics and strength work last week - I can ride my bike for 8 hours and my legs feel fine. A couple sets of explosive squat jumps and I can barely move. I admit, I'm kind of enjoying the feeling.

2009-10-27T09:55:00.005-05:00

I haven't updated in a bit, but things are going much better. The tailbone is 95% healed - it only really bothers me when I'm driving or sitting a certain way. I only had to miss one race.

Last Sunday I raced Carpentersville cross - a long and technical course with a lump track [or rhythm section], sandpit, creek bed, barriers, and lots and lots of twists and turns. I got there early and practiced riding the course and I though I had it down pretty good. We started on pavement, so I got a better start than usual and was fifth wheel at the first barrier. Unfortunately, I was penned in and trapped behind a woman in her first cross race ever who had no idea how to dismount and get over the barrier. By the time I got around her and back on my bike, I'd lost a bunch of places. Then I slid out and went through the caution tape that delineated the course and lost a few more places. And, without realizing it, I'd picked up a streamer of the plastic tape in my derailleur.

You can see the tape in this photo. You might also notice that my chain is off. I couldn't pedal it back on and had to stop and manually fix it while MORE racers got by me. Then the tape started causing all sorts of shifting problems. I couldn't get it to stay in gear and couldn't get any speed up. I couldn't close the gap to the riders who'd passed me. I finally got it to stay in one gear, and rode the final lap single speed. It was pretty frustrating - I finished 13th, which was way higher than I expected with the problems I had. But lower than I had aimed for.

Happily, I had no mechanical problems this past Sunday at Bartlett. With new cables and a new bottom bracket, my bike was running better than ever.

The race course in Bartlett was a power course with long straight sections you could pick up some speed on. I got a TERRIBLE start - I've GOT to work on that - and was one of the last through the first corner. That's hard to come back from, the leaders get SO far ahead. But the course suited me, so I started picking riders off. There were a couple of sections that I could shoot past a girl and get a bit of distance before the next technical part. I managed to work my way back up into the top ten and pass some racers that had been beating me all year. I was even getting close to women who consistently finish in the top five. But I ran out of time - a longer race would suit me better.

In the end, I had Jamie from Cuttin' Crew and my teammate Natalie hot on my tail. I'd gotten past them, but I couldn't break their spirit. Natalie went off course and lost time, but Jamie was chasing hard. All her teammates were at the top of 'heckle hill' the little run-up, and they were cheering her on. I could sense her at my elbow. I stayed ahead of her through two more turns, and then she got by me. I rode her wheel through the last bit of the course, but could not come around her in the sprint. She took seventh and I took eighth, with Natalie coming in a moment later ninth. It was VERY exciting - I so rarely have racers around me at the end of a cross race, it was super fun up to race hard all the way. Props to Jamie!

Next Sunday is St. Charles. Last year this was a very technical course with some serious uphill sections. I'm looking forward to it!

Thanks to Duane, Brian Morrissey, and Luke Seeman for photos. You rock.

2009-10-12T12:33:00.003-05:00

Had to skip yesterday's race - riding bumpy grass was painful and swinging my leg over the bike to dismount shot electric bolts up my spine. Not the good kind. I'm supremely irritated about the whole situation. Now coach wants me to go to a doctor and get my tailbone looked at - to what purpose, I don't know. Bruised or broken, treatment is the same. And its not broken. I'm not saying that like George HIncapie said his collarbone wasn't broken the last five days of the TdF - I'm 98% certain its not broken. I should've just tried to race.

2009-10-09T14:14:00.000-05:00

You'd think celeste green cross tubulars would be on the market. You'd be wrong.

2009-10-09T09:01:00.000-05:00

I have new respect - and awe - for Andreas Kloden.

2009-10-08T11:18:00.003-05:00

I managed to bruise my tailbone during cross practice last night. This is apparently one of those injuries with a pain level WAY out of proportion with its seriousness. The ride home was grueling - I wanted to alternately cry and throw up.

I decided I would be fine this morning, so didn't cancel my training ride. Which turned out to be overly optimistic. By the time I met up with my training partner, I couldn't sit on my saddle any longer. I had to bail and ended up on an elliptical trainer - which was uncomfortable but bearable. I'm walking and sitting and bending very slowly and carefully today.

I really hope I'm able to race on Sunday.

On the bright side, I had a bit of a breakthrough with barriers and mounting. Julia helped me out a bit, and things started to come together. Yay.

---

Here's a question: why is my cross bike so heavy? I have a carbon frame, double chainring, ultegra components, aluminum seatpost and handlebars, and ksyrium elite wheels. Ultegra isn't the lightest, but it shouldn't weigh me down THAT much. Other people with the same frame have MUCH lighter bikes.

I took the seatpost out last night and propped her upside down over the utility sink - but there doesn't seem to be any water in there. Hmmm.

I DID just get tubular cross tires, so soon I'll have a lighter wheelset for racing. But still . . .

2009-10-06T16:46:00.004-05:00

Raced Dekalb Cyclocross on Sunday. SUCH a great course. Half Acre really outdid themselves. I had a lot of fun.

I'm still getting back into the swing of cross. I'm slowly remembering how to ride off-road, how to navigate sharp corners without braking. Slowly is the key word - the last lap of my second race, and I'm finally starting to get it.

I was called up to the front of the line in seventh place - good spot. I thought I was doing OK in the sprint, until we hit the first corners, then I realized I was WAY too far back, trapped behind some slower riders.

Like this awesome chick racing her commuter bike with the rack still on. I worked my way through and around quite a few women. Coach had told me that when passing, sprint by so the racer doesn't think she can catch my wheel. That worked well for me.

By the end of the second lap, I'd dropped everyone near me and was desperately chasing my own teammate Natalie. No one else was even in sight at this point. I'd get close to her, then we'd hit the barriers and I'd fall back. I'd get close again, more barriers. She successfully held me off and we finished ninth and tenth. Not the placing I wanted, but good enough.

My teammate Julia - the cyclocross phenom - won. She's applied for her upgrade, but it hadn't come through. I was GIDDY when I found out that my other teammate, Courtney, finished second! Looks like xXx has a chance to take the women's cat 4 cross cup for a second year in a row. That would be cool.

Photos by Luke Seemann. Thanks, Luke!

2009-10-01T16:55:00.001-05:00

I raced the Fall Fling road race on Sunday. It feels really good to be racing again - my injury is bothering me less and less and I'm feeling stronger. And ABD really knows how to put on a good event – I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed Fall Fling.

The 123 women were combined with the 50+ men - we could work together, but were scored separately. This makes for a very different race - much less likely that any of the women will break away. You just sit in until the end and see what you can do in the sprint. And that was my goal - to hang onto the pack.

I started out in the front, grabbed the wheel of a guy going by and sat fifth wheel to the first corner. Unfortunately, I seem to be unable to ride through a corner without letting a bit of a gap open between me and the wheel in front of me. Entering the corner, suddenly there were riders on my inside and outside. By the time I hit the other side, I’d gone from fifth wheel to 20th.

I sat behind two of the other women. I had some chances to move up, but didn’t take them – thinking that I could stay in touch with these girls and be OK. The second corner sent me to the back of the pack.

Corner three was sweeping, no problem for anyone. I rode through the rollers feeling good. It was fast, but felt like a run-up to Old School on the team ride. No problem.

Except I stayed at the back – what was I thinking? I was comfortable in the pack. There were opportunities to advance. Why didn’t I take them?

I got a little gapped through corner four. Easy enough to make up with the tailwind. Back to corner one. Again I’m gapped a little, but this time, I can’t make it up. I trail ten feet off the back, and then 15, and then 20. I’m dropped.

So I failed to achieve my goal for this race. Frustrating.

I spent the next five and a half laps working with one of the men. We didn’t get lapped, we finished in less than two hours, and I broke my power records for 30, 60, and 120 minutes.

--

This morning I went out with a teammate and practiced cornering at speed for an hour. If I went through the corner first, I was fine. If he went first, a bike length would open between us. We drilled over and over – and this isn’t the first time I’ve worked on this – and still I could not hold his wheel through the corner. I don’t even feel like I’m slowing – but I must be doing small things that slow me just enough. It comes down to an irrational panic response. I don’t even really FEEL the panic, unless I really focus on what’s in my head while I ride the corner. But its there. I don’t know what to do.

2009-09-24T09:24:00.001-05:00

Coach added running to my training schedule. You use some muscles running that you don't use cycling. Ow.

2009-09-21T10:55:00.008-05:00

My new HIDEOUS/FABULOUS skinsuit got a second debut at yesterday's Jackson Park cyclocross race. Man, I LOVE cyclocross. I'm no good at it - I'm completely incapable of getting over a barrier and back onto my bike without coming to a complete stop. Which, as you can imagine, is a bit of a handicap. And with a handicap like that, 30 minutes isn't enough time to wear out the competition sufficiently to really make up for it.

But its SO MUCH FUN!

I decided not to cat up to the women's 1,2,3 field - no point until I can work out my issues with the barriers. There were over 30 women lining up in the cat 4 field, which is HUGE - so cool to have so many women racing. I think xXx had seven women in the field, most for their first cross race. I knew there was some strong competition in the field, so my goal was top 10.

I did Ok in opening sprint - not great, but OK. I was about eighth or ninth by the time we hit the ersatz singletrack through the trees. The three or four in the lead were opening up a good gap, and I was unable to get around the line of women ahead of me to keep up. Eventually some dropped off and I ended up behind Amy from Mox - which is a familiar place to find myself. I wasn't being aggressive enough about getting around her either. My teammate Courtney caught up to me and Amy and I fell behind them at the barriers. Then Amy slid out in a corner and I shouted at Courntey to get around her - we both did! I rode Court's wheel for half the course then decided to be more assertive and tried to pass on her inside in a corner. Unfortunately there were major ruts and Courtney had to almost stop to avoid them. I didn't want to screw up my own teammate! She got ahead of me again at the barriers and this time I was inhibited about trying to pass.

I could see that some of the women ahead of us were tiring. Courtney and I were working past them. I could see Britt from Verdigris, Cathy from Project 5, and Natalie ahead of us. I saw that Courtney was able to work around Nat and Cathy (who fell and lost a few places) - the barriers continued to hold me back. And then the race was over - almost before it started, it seemed.

My crazy strong teammate Julia won - no surprise there, I knew she'd dominate the first time I saw her graceful leap onto a cross bike - and Courtney took third! Woo! Natalie and I were sixth and seventh. So I made my goal of top ten and I'll get a call up at the next race.

Eileen - my teammate who took the women's cat 4 series title and state jersey last year - was very strong in her first women's cat 1,2,3 race. She dropped some serious competition and ended up third or fourth [final results aren't out yet]. She's so impressive. Yelling at her and at the men in the masters' race while I marshalled was almost more fun than racing myself. Huge props to Greg for putting this race together - and to Brian and Mike and all my other teammates who spent so much time and effort to not only make the race happen, but to make it so great. The whole Chi Cross Cup series ROCKS!

2009-09-14T11:07:00.002-05:00

Well, the four-person time trial was yesterday. I felt good - I'd decided not to do the State RR to save my legs and didn't overdo on the team ride. I spent a significant part of Saturday resting and stretching and preparing by bike and all my race stuff. I was ready.

Our start time was 10:19. Julia and I got there about 8:20 am, thinking we could drive the course first. But there was a thick, enveloping fog in Utica - visibility was 20 feet, tops. The organizers delayed the race start for a half hour. And then another half hour. Heidi and Eileen and the other xXx women's teams arrived. Our crazy, custom skinsuits arrived. We relaxed for a while and then got ready to race.

Actually we probably relaxed too long. We didn't start our warmup until 10:50. My legs felt great, we were working well together. We practiced a couple turns. I glanced at my watch, it was 11:05 - definitely time to turn around and get to the start line. And then I flatted. I was riding tubulars and had nothing with me to fix the flat.

I fell off our paceline and started to run back towards the race start with my bike. My teammates said they'd get our start time pushed back and come get me in the car. I told them I'd try and flag down a car and get a ride.

We were a couple miles out. I walked and walked, walked right through our start time. No one came to pick me up. I knew they'd had to start without me. I was SO disappointed. I finally got a nice guy with a big pickup truck to give me a lift. I got to the start line 25 minutes late.

My teammate Noelle lent me her spare wheel - right before HER TTT team went off. I started right after them. I was there, might as well get in a good training ride. I took the beginning relatively slowly - no reason to really push - but as I rode, I formulated goals for myself and rode harder and harder. I actually passed a couple teams (who must have had something going on to be going so slowly). I ended up averaging just over 21 mph for the 60k - not terrible for a training ride. That finishing stretch was just as interminable as I remember.

My team took third. I'm proud of them, but so disappointed I didn't get to race with them.

2009-09-10T16:48:00.002-05:00

Gearing up for the Four Person Team Time Trial on Sunday. I'm excited - I have an excellent team AND we have two other women's team competing. We had a tremendous amount of fun last year.

I think I'm going to have to miss the State Road Race on Saturday. With this piriformis/sciatic nerve thing [Yes, I have sciatica - because I'm 90.] I've had to lay off the intensity a bit, which has negatively affected my fitness. I'm not climbing as well as I should be and I need to save my legs for the TTT. Bummer. Total bummer. But better not risk aggravating my . . . OK, its SO awkward having an injured butt. Its not my hip, or leg or back, its my bum. One side of my bum. Charming.

Also looking forward to cyclocross. I've decided to use the HED stingers, and have been searching for a set of tubulars. I've settled on the Vittoria Cross EVO XG 700x32c Tubulars in silver. They're VERY reasonably priced and well-reviewed. They're such a great deal that every online store that offers them is out of stock. I've ordered them three times and the next day get an e-mail telling me they're back ordered or just gone. Which has frittered away a week.

I complained about my bad luck on Facebook which prompted the good people at Turin to offer to help. I love Anne Barnes.

2009-09-04T15:24:00.000-05:00

Feeling better. Thanks. Still slow, but better rested. The rest will come.

2009-09-03T12:29:00.002-05:00

Getting ready for the team time trial next weekend. And the State Road Race. I'm not feeling great - my fitness just isn't where I want it to be. I tried to peak in late June/early July [although I don't feel I made it all the way], then pulled back to try to avoid burnout. Just as I started ramping back up, I hurt myself and had to lay off the intensity. The injury continues to nag. Its not acute anymore, but its not gone either. It feels raw and *wrong* when I ride, and it aches when I sit at my desk or in my car. It robs me of power.

I had a really great little vacation with Jackie last week - so good to just spend time together and relax. But since then, I've been tired and stressed out. I just can't seem to get ahead of the 8-ball. I've been getting up super early to practice with my TTT team, while I'm trying to get back on Central time - too easy to stay up too late, too hard to get up early - and then I spend the entire day dragging.

Coach has been talking about mental toughness lately. He thinks I have it and that I can exercise more of it. But when I fall into this well of worry and despair, its too easy to let it engulf me. My glass is half-empty and that's all I can see.

2009-08-25T09:35:00.002-05:00

Sunday I went out to Palos for the team's 'Take a Roadie Off-Road day." Cyclocross racing last year is the extent of my off-road experience, so it was super fun to ride the trails for 3+ hours. I rode my cross bike - which on one hand was great: I got a lot better handling that bike over, under and through all sorts of stuff. On the other hand my cross bike has extremely iffy brakes, so I was inhibited on the downhill sections. The chances of me losing control and riding right off the path, into a tree or a ravine because I could not stop the bike, slowed me WAY down.

And then I got lost - but that was my own fault. I wasn't even lost, I just lost contact with my teammates and wasn't sure which path was the one to take back to the parking lot. I picked one and rode out until I got to this crazy 30 foot ravine and decided that wasn't happening on the cross bike. So I turned around and chose another path . . . that took me in a big circle back to where I started. Finally I decided to go back the way I came - and eventually met up with someone looking for me [Yay Pat! You rock!]. Turns out that path was also a big loop and took me about 150 yards away from where I'd been lost. Heh. The route out of there was twisty enough that I would never have found the way on my own.

Happily for the guys looking for me, I was easy to spot. Everyone remembered seeing the tattooed woman on the cross bike.

All the off-roadies were amazingly patient and encouraging. And the BBQ at Seegs home afterwards was a blast.

---

As for my injury, I had an Active Release session yesterday and that went well. The doc thinks my piriformis has enough scar tissue built up that it isn't moving properly against the other muscles and my sciatic nerve - which is why I'm feeling the pain traveling to my lower back and down my leg. Active Release helps breaks up the scar tissue.

I also had Coach adjust my bike fit. I'd never gotten my new saddle in quite the right position and I think that is the main culprit in my becoming injured. This morning, my leg and hip felt tight and occasionally painful, but not anything like it has been.

Of course, I was being careful to stay in my endurance zone and not push too hard this morning. Coach does NOT approve of me riding harder than I'm supposed to ride on endurance and active recovery days. And he's right - I don't have the energy to really do a good hard workout when I'm supposed to because I ride tempo and chase down any rider who goes by me when I'm supposed to be recovering. My legs are never fresh.

I have to change my mindset - I have to be more disciplined. More is not always better. I have to let go of my pathological need to prove to all the random pathletes that I can ride away from them. I have to let go of my need to win the great commuter race down Milwaukee Ave. It will have to be enough to just KNOW that I COULD crush their pathetic spirits under my wheels. This will take more mental toughness than spinning drills or TT intervals. Arg.

2009-08-22T18:17:00.003-05:00

I have a new stem - angle is MUCH more comfortable. Added benefit: the brakes work better. I'm heading out to Palos for "take a roadie off-road day" tomorrow. Should be fun! I don't have a mountain bike, so I'm riding my cross bike - the ride leaders say this will be fine. Some other teammates aren't so sure. Oh well - what's the worst that could happen?

Team ride today. Slow ride to HP, then a fast ride up to Old School and back. I got popped off the back a couple times, but conveniently placed stop lights kept me with the group. My fitness isn't exactly where I want it, but it was a GREAT workout.

I raised my seat slightly and my hip/leg thing felt much better. Still tight, but not painful until Evanston on the way back. And then, boy howdy did it hurt! Every pedal stroke was like knives. Nothing for it but to ride home, so I focused on breathing (that helps) and kept going. At home, I stretched and used the roller. Something is really wrong, I think. F!

I have an active release appointment on Monday. That's worked well in the past.

Pain, pain, pain, when will it end.

2009-08-21T09:39:00.003-05:00

Still struggling with this stupid hip thing. I keep thinking its getting better, then I ride and its just as alarmingly painful as before. The massage has helped, the ice and ibuprofen help, but I think its time for the next step. Active Release has really helped me in the past, so I'm going to call today. After that, AthletiCo. Or my GP. Arg.

In the meantime, I've been thinking a lot about the cross bike. Number one thing to change is the stem. I used one I had, and its the wrong angle - which put my handlebars in a position that has aggravated my elbows and made the bike feel weird to ride. New stem today!

I'm researching brakes [thanks for the offer, Allen! - I'll send you an e-mail], and I'm going to use the carbon seatpost and saddle from my road bike. Wheels will make the biggest difference - these are my options:
- Mavic Ksyrium elite clinchers. I used these last year.
- have cross tires glued to my HED stingers. These are my primo road race wheels - do I dare use them for cross??
- find a cheap and relatively lightweight set of tubular wheels - like the Easton EA70x. Definitely need to be cheap - but will cheap tubulars be any better than the Ksyrium elites?

Hmmm.

2009-08-19T10:15:00.004-05:00

After a month-long, coach-imposed hiatus from racing, I entered the 8/12 Soldier's Field criterium. I had so much fun four weeks before, I felt strong and attacked from the line. This time, still recovering from a cold and five weeks off my peak, I was not so ambitious. I sat in a lot and concentrated on improving my pack skills - rolling smoothly through the corners without touching brakes and etc. I put in a few digs and had no problem staying with the front group. There were two other cat 3s this week - all the women race together, but the cat 4s are scored separately from the 123s - and the three of us were watching each other. It came down to a bunch sprint, I sat second wheel through the last lap, saw the attacking start through the last corner and made my own move - I focused on pedaling faster rather than mashing through ever larger gears, and lost less ground in the sprint than usual. I took fifth overall by a bike throw - the first time that has worked for me! It was fun! Maybe I'll get the hang of this sprinting thing yet. I was second of the 123 women and won a gift card for a free Chipotle burrito.

Thursday, I drove up to Northbrook to race track. It was only the second time I'd been able to get to the track this year and I was really looking forward to it. I set up my trainer and camp chair, put on my skin suit and paid my fee. I got on my track bike - a bit tentatively at first - and started to pedal around the track, warming up. There was a paceline I was considering jumping on, but as I rode round and round, my right hip really started bothering me. I'd felt something there the last lap or two at Soldier's Field, so I'd stretched it out and used the foam roller on it. But the more I pedalled, the worse it got. After 20 minutes, every pedal stroke increased the pain. I got off and texted my coach. Then I got back out there. First lap was OK. Second lap, not so great. I tried a sprint, and put myself into agony. I pulled into the infield. Coach texted back - sit out tonight. Arg.

Friday I had a massage. There were huge knots in my piriformis and my illiac was like piano wire. Nothing was moving smoothly. I came out of the office feeling bruised and beat up. I spent the evening in the embrace of an ice pack and ibuprofen.

Saturday. Downer's Grove. I wasn't sure what to do. I hated to pass up the last 3/4 race of the season - a race I could do well in. But I really didn't want to make my injury worse. I rode out to DG with Courtney and Jannette. We kept to a pretty relaxed pace - but I still found myself riding one-legged. There was less pain, but I felt like my piriformis had been bisected and laid open. It felt raw. And it affected my whole leg - there was shooting pain in the front of my hip, an ache down my hamstring, discomfort in my quad, tightness in my calf, and cramping in my foot. It was tough to let it go, but I ended up not racing. I cheered through my frustration at not being a part of the action. However, it was FANTASTIC to see my teammates, Courtney, Dana and Natalie, all finish in the front pack!

I rode home alone - my companions wanted to stay and watch longer than I was able to. I had the tailwind, and was able to crank up my speed a bit. Keeping a steady pace lessened my discomfort. I was delighted to make it home in 83 minutes - and it was great to ride somewhere OTHER than HP for once!

Sunday, I rode Old School with the girls. Mostly steady, with a few small digs here and there - Heidi attacked up University Hill and I tried to counter. Sitting on the front into the wind or pushing uphill, I could feel my hip protesting, but it was really doing better. Monday, I spent an hour on an elliptical trainer, just to move my legs a different way.

Today I hit the Lakefront Path with my TTT partners for some paceline practice. I have the aerobars clipped on and my TT seatpost pushing me forward. SO WEIRD. We practiced at endurance pace, just trying to get used to each other again. Once I realized I only have to use the aerobars when I'm on the front, I was able to relax into the process. Hip and leg feel very tight, but doing better. I'm stretching out at my desk throughout the day. I'm going to try racing track tomorrow.

---

I've been contemplating my cross bike. Peter Allen has the same frame as I do - a larger version even - and his bike is much lighter than mine. Yes, its partly the wheels and partly that he has a single chainring while I have a double. But I think I can make my bike more comfortable and more efficient than it is.

My first step will be a new stem. To cut costs last year, I used some components I had laying around. And this stem is just wrong. Wrong angle, wrong material. I want something much closer to the geometry on my road bike.

I went with Ultegra shifters and deraileur. I'm used to Shimano and it was way cheaper than the dura-ace. I could possibly sell the ultegra and upgrade with some SRAM through the team deal. Or maybe I should spend that money on lighter wheels? Tubulars? I have the HED stingers . . . I guess I could have cross tires glued on. Paolo did that.

And I don't like my brakes. I have the euros - the triangle is HUGE - so they shed mud and muck really well. But they don't stop my bike - or even slow it very much, especially on pavement. The Ultegra levers just weren't made for cantilever brakes, I guess, so I have to grab really hard. And even then, I almost hit a pedestrian.

Hmmm.

2009-08-11T21:47:00.002-05:00

Almost over the cold. My energy is pretty good. Thinking about racing Soldier's Field tomorrow and thinking about avoiding Downer's Grove on Saturday. I'll see what coach has to say.

Right now I'm feeling disappointed in my season thus far. I haven't seen any improvement. Not sure what to do about it.

Looking forward to the Team Time Trial.

2009-08-07T11:12:00.002-05:00

Still sick. I feel 5% better than yesterday and 10% better than Wednesday. Should I race on Sunday? I want to, I've really been looking forward to it. But the time trial I rode on Wednesday morning didn't go well - I simply couldn't make my body work as hard as I know it can, and it wasn't for lack of trying. Afterwards I was completely destroyed. Completely. Not the usual I'm-going-to-hurl-unless-I-pedal-very-slowly-for-ten-minutes-and-then-I'm-OK destroyed, but a furious, sobbing mess unable to pedal faster than 9 mph for several hours.

I've had that experience once before: my second year at training camp I woke up with a bad cold on the second to last day - the day we were scheduled to ride up the backside of the Wall, a notoriously difficult route with some 20% grades. I ended up having to walk my bike up one steep section, and at the top was beyond furious at my 'failure' and beyond miserable with the cold. I basically went and sat by myself in the bushes and sobbed for no reason.

A low point, for sure. One I have no desire to repeat on Sunday.

2009-08-06T12:54:00.002-05:00

I'm sick. I hate being sick. I hate missing races and workouts. I hate feeling all trembly and sweaty in the wrong way when I do any sort of intensity. I just want to lie down and sleep for three days.

2009-08-04T10:28:00.002-05:00

Eileen's 'into to cyclocross' clinic is this evening. I'm going to head out early to practice my flying dismounts and remounts - I haven't done anything like that since December. And I wasn't any good at it then.

I'm already excited about 'cross season!

2009-07-31T11:30:00.004-05:00

http://www.saxobanktakingthelead.com/?p=1217

Jens recorded a video assuring everyone that he's OK and will be back racing soon. Yay.

Speaking of crashes, I fell over again last night. So stupid. Got my wheel caught between two sidewalk panels. Happily, it seems my bike came out unscathed. While I was not quite so lucky, after watching George Hincapie ride four and a half tour stages with a broken collarbone - not to mention Jens' cheerful reassurances from his hospital bed - I have nothing to complain about.

Other than the loss of yet more dignity.

---

Pactimo, who makes my team's kit, has sent me a couple pairs of newly designed women's shorts to try out. The past couple years, the chamois in the women's shorts has had some issues, so I'm delighted that they are trying new things and I'm happy to help vet them.

Of course, I don't wear shorts. I wear knickers. I wear knickers because I'm comfortable in knickers and I'm not comfortable in shorts. I don't wear shorts off the bike either. Form-fitting spandex is tough enough - especially in front of hyper-weight conscious cyclists - so I just took shorts off the table. One less thing to worry about.

On the other hand, the oozing and ouchy doorknob I've lately acquired on my knee won't feel so great in knickers. Hmmm.

2009-07-21T10:53:00.009-05:00

Jens Voigt has had a bad crash in stage 16 - he hit a slight dip in the road and lost control, wheels sliding out from under him, on a very fast descent. He hit his head hard and slid out on his right side. He didn't finish the stage, but was taken directly to the hospital. Possible head trauma - he was unconscious for a while, but came around. Hospital says he can move his arms and legs. Riis says his injuries are serious.

BE OK, JENS!!! Be ok.

Story from velonews:
http://tour-de-france.velonews.com/article/95591/voigt-injured-in-crash

And pics - it looks bad (scroll down):
http://www.gettyimages.com/Search/Search.aspx?EventId=88232141#

Have to say, I pretty much lost my enthusiasm for the rest of what was an exciting stage.

---

Sounds like Jens is going to be OK. I'm relieved. And very sad he's out of the tour.

Here's a good story about him, even if it does read a bit too much like an obituary:
http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/tdf2009/columns/story?id=4344207

2009-07-20T16:22:00.003-05:00

Coach has me off racing for a few weeks - when I was planning my season back in January, I didn't argue too hard for Superweek. Crashing at Evanston last year and ending up in the ER to have gravel dug out of my chin [not to mention not being able to eat solid food for over a month] was all too vivid a memory. But - just like last year - when Superweek is actually happening, I WANT TO RACE.

But I'm not. And honestly, it is mentally relaxing to just pull back into base training and chill.

I wanted to go long on Saturday, so when the opportunity to ride to Wisconsin presented itself, I went for it. I rode the wheel of one of our Elite racers for four hours up the Sisters route, into Wisconsin, back down to Illinois, through the big house loop, back to HP and the return to Chicago. 125 miles [200 k!], averaging 18.5 mph [including the slow part up to HP]. I don't *think* I slowed my companion down, although 96 miles in, I cracked on a little climb. But I recovered quickly and found that even the last 10 miles on my own, I was perfectly comfortable riding 19 mph down Damen Ave. "Steady" is the way to ride long, long miles.

I love being fit. I remember riding centuries five years ago - I could complete one, but was absolutely destroyed afterwards. On Saturday, I ate a bowl of pasta, showered, and headed out to Ravinia for family time, cookies, and Beethoven.

Sunday I led the monthly Women's Development Program open ride up to HP. We had three women new to group riding, so our pace was leisurely - probably a good thing after Saturday's brevet. We ended the ride at the Evanston Grand Prix in time to get burritos and watch Natalie, Courtney, Dana and Gigi race their guts out.

Then home to watch the TdF. Stage 15 was 200 k, and I tried to imagine sprinting 8 kilometers up an 8-9% grade at the end of Saturday's ride. These are hard, hard men.

2009-07-16T13:46:00.007-05:00

I raced the third Soldier Field Cycling Series race Wednesday evening. Not a lot of women showed up the first two weeks, so they combined the women's fields but scored the 4s separately from the 1-2-3s. Which meant a chance to race with the xXx cat 4 women!

18 women lined up - a good sized field! - 16 cat 4, including three xXxers, and two cat 3s. So I was racing one person within the larger group, but was in actuality racing a cat 4 race. And it was FUN. It was nice not to get dropped within the first 10 minutes. And it wasn't like I was a vastly superior rider - there were a number of strong girls ready to ride hard who will be cat 3s at the end of the season. [Although as Seth pointed out, he, as a cat 1, would thoroughly enjoy a cat 3 race. Point taken.]

I attacked from the line - I've been wanting to do that - and pulled the first lap. Then settled in near the front. My wheel riding, especially in the corners, was terrible at first [which helps explain why I get dropped right away in the P-1-2-3 races], but it didn't hurt me much in this race. I worked on cornering more smoothly and staying in contact with the girl ahead of me. I chased a few attacks, I attacked and got chased. I contended for two primes and lost both to the same woman [good sprinting practice]. At some point I realize that our front group has been whittled down to nine, and the other cat 3 racer is not in the bunch - unless she bridges up, I've won my race. I settle in to work for the other xXx women - ALL of whom have made the split. Including Julia in her first race ever.

A Project 5 racer attacks and Courtney is on her. I sit up a little and let them get a gap. Then two other women bridge up - one of us and three of them? Nope. I close the gap and its grupo compacto. I have to say, it felt good to be able to make that choice, instead of just reacting and suffering. I try to keep my teammates in good positions - taking pulls so they don't have to, making sure they stay with the group.

Coming around for the last lap, I'm thinking I want to get up front and lead out. I'm second to last into corner 2&3, and see one of the Cuttin' Crew girls touch wheels and go down. I get around the crash but I've missed my chance to lead out, so I sit on the back and let my teammates battle it out. Courtney wins!! Julia takes fourth and Dana sixth! I'm DELIGHTED that we all finished so strong. [And very happy that the Cuttin' Crew girl who went down was not seriously injured.]

Then! Christian Vande Velde's father hands out our prizes! I gush about CVV to JVV like a total spaz. It was so cool!

Thanks to Nikki Cyp for the awesome photos!

2009-07-13T22:09:00.002-05:00

Spinning Drills. In July. Sigh.

Got my powertap back finally and continue to post record numbers. So there's that.

2009-07-07T14:21:00.003-05:00

Not much to say about UWW RR. Its a beautiful course and is put on with obvious love and care. Last year I won the cat 4 race from a two person breakaway - beating women who were arguably stronger climbers than I. Quite a triumph.

This year I drove up early with a teammate racing in that category. I enjoyed watching the race - attrition on the hill whittled their field down to six who sprinted together. Then I rode the course twice to warm up.

There were eight women in the P123 field - the tall woman, Heidi, from Masters Nationals was one, and it was delightful to see her again. I'd also raced with Diane before, a 50+ climber who had just won her crit at Masters Nationals the day before. I knew Diane would be a leg-breaker.

We started, rode to the hill, shifted into our small chainrings and very politely climbed up as a group. At the top, Diane attacked. And I thought "That is so smart! I am ON that." But my legs simply didn't move fast enough. I couldn't make them. I got a little gapped. Diane took a long look back, the expression on her face saying "Aren't you coming??" But I was off.

I chased for a lap, the gap growing from 10 seconds to 30 before someone attacked and took them out of my sight.

And that was that.

I talked it over with my coach - my inability to quickly accelerate uphill has spit me out the back of most of my races this year - and we're changing my training to address this weakness specifically.

In other news, I just lost my partner for the two person TT next Sunday - a discipline that I can actually do well in. Arg.

2009-06-30T09:10:00.007-05:00

Masters Nationals Road Race has been one of my big target races for this year. I've been building up to it, trying to peak -- and while I feel like I haven't quite gotten there, I've been delighted at the leaps in fitness I made by riding Blue Mounds. It was such great training: since then my climbing has improved and I finished the Fitness Check TT in a time that still makes me giddy with glee.

I drove down to Louisville, KY on Saturday. I picked up my registration packet and then went to the race course, stopping only for a couple liters of water. It was hot and humid but also bright and clear and the park the race is in was gorgeous. I rode the course a couple times, trying to get the turns down -- as much as possible with the roads open to cars. It is a GREAT course - winding and rolling with a couple longish climbs.

My race was at 10:30 am on Sunday. I got there early, before the first races went off at 8 am, to ride the course one more time - this time closed to traffic. There were two sharp turns that worried me, both downhill. I've come a long way since the crashes last year sent me into a blind panic in the corners, but I'm still not 100%. I wanted to be as prepared as possible.

It was hot. I warmed up and tried to stay hydrated. The 40-44 age group had the largest field with 25 women starting [or as the announcer claimed at the line: "almost 30!"] It was fast from the whistle - so many talented, tough women. And as I'd feared, the cornering was a huge weakness for me. I would get just a little gapped and have to work extra hard to catch back on, then we'd hit another and I'd get a little gapped again. I wasn't the only one - and I wasn't the worst one - but when someone put in a big uphill attack on the third lap, the elastic broke.

At first there were four of us, but we kept picking up other shelled riders and by the second to last lap, there were eight or so in our group. A Priority Health girl and I ended up doing the bulk of the work in the last laps. By then, I knew who could climb, who NOT to get behind in the corners, and whose wheel to grab on the descents. A very tall woman attacked off the front mid-way through the last lap and we let her go - we knew we'd catch her at the twisty hill, and we did. I put in a big dig on that hill and hurt a couple women in our group. Priority Health and I let the tall girl take us down the hill and onto the flat. Glancing behind, I could see another rider chasing hard. We started up the final climb into the finish and dropped tall girl. I sat behind Priority Health, and the unattached chaser sat behind me. At 200 meters, I attacked and while I felt like I was pedaling through molasses, I picked up speed and Priority Health could not respond. The unattached rider, however, could. She came around me at 50 meters and I had nothing left. She 'won' our group and I crossed the line next in 13th place. I felt good that despite working super hard for the entire race, I had enough left to contend for the finish.

It was such a fun race - and so hard. If I can improve my cornering and descending skills, I'll finish with the front group next year. A good goal.

Stray thoughts:
- oh my god my HED stingers are AWESOME!!! They take five pounds off my bike and they practically float. Another rider asked me if I liked them and for a moment all I could do was cackle.

- can't blame the other riders for thinking me a bit odd for wearing cool weather knickers in the 85+ degree heat. I didn't really think about it until I got a number of comments. The knickers make me feel more comfortable and that's one less thing to worry about in a race. And its no worse than Tati sporting wool year-round.

- driving for hours after a hard race is its own challenge.

- this race was so well-run. So many people putting so much time and effort and it really paid off. Thank you!

- the announcer mentioned that there was a film crew there making a commercial for USA Cycling that will play on Versus during le tour. There's a miniscule chance that I will be in it! Wooo!

2009-06-24T09:02:00.003-05:00

The Fitness Check Time Trial #3 was held this morning. My team gathers at the lakefront and rides a set course while our coach times us. We can compare our results with the last FCTT and the FCTT last year at this time.

Last year in late June I rode the course in 26:45 -- and that was my PR. Today I rode it in 26:00.

So, while I feel slow, I AM improving. I still have a long way to go before I can stick with the big girls in the P-1-2-3 field, but seeing some actual progress helps.

The new fork certainly didn't hurt either. Still marveling at the wonderful stiffness. [Yes, yes, that's what she said. Whatever.]

2009-06-23T10:02:00.001-05:00

This Alpha-Q fork feels amazing! Very stiff. So much better than the mushy ride on the cracked steering tube of my old fork. Yay.

2009-06-19T09:44:00.005-05:00

This is why so few cat 3 women race: racing with the Pro 1-2 women is demoralizing. The few cat 3 women who CAN compete in that field continue, and most of the rest struggle for a while and then move on to something else. Too many women enter cat 3 limbo and disappear.

Blue Mounds Race of the Future is an excellent race. A lavish production with scores of volunteers, an announcer, a big stage, SRAM neutral support, rolling closures, tons of marshalls, and an interesting, challenging and beautiful course. And by challenging I mean two laps equalling 44 miles with 2200 feet of climbing --climbs that last for miles -- and a mile + uphill kicker added onto the end.

My bike was suffering lingering effects from crashing two weeks ago. Turns out my derailleur, not just my derailleur hangar, was bent up a bit. And the crack in my steering tube, while not dangerous to ride, makes my bike about as stiff as a sponge. Which feels . . . alarming -- especially while climbing out of the saddle. To warmup, I rode to the bottom of the final climb and started up -- and my bent derailleur wouldn't stay in gear. Any climbing pressure on the 23, 21 or 19 and the chain popped back and forth between cogs [and yes, I should have swapped the 23/11 for a 27/12 before leaving for Wisconsin]. So my warmup was spent at the SRAM neutral support cars where the mechanics struggled to salvage my beat-up derailleur.

And they prevailed! I was able to shift without incident throughout the race, and the chain stayed where it was supposed to. Thank you SRAM mechanics!

25-30 women started the race [the results only show the women who finished, not sure how many DNFed but I saw a couple at the side of the road]. We had a neutral roll-out downhill -- the thought of which turned my stomach. I'm a nervous descender and was not looking forward to speeding downhill en masse. So I let myself get a little gapped right off. I caught on quickly, but on the back. And then we were on the first climb and I was off the back again. I think I should have been able to stay with the pack longer, despite the amazing talent in that group. Something to think about.

Another woman popped off the back ahead of me. I chased her for a while -- she noticed me and sat up a little. I thought, great, someone to work with! But soon I was waiting for her at the top of every hill, so after a while I dropped her. And continued on my grueling 44 mile training ride.

The cat 4/5 men caught up to me on one of the big climbs that shattered their field. I rode in-between several groups and individuals off the back of their pack. It was nice to have company, even if we couldn't work together.

The 22 mile circuit ends with several miles of unrelenting up that made me REALLY regret not having the 27/12 cassette. The first time up was sorta fun. The lead was out of my legs by then and I could try to close the gaps to the guys up ahead. But starting the second lap, knowing what lay ahead, was daunting. I thought about the gels and blox in my pockets, the water and electrolyte drink left in my bottles, and how to ration them most effectively.

The cat 4/5 stragglers got together and disappeared. I was alone. I was tiring - but frankly, I would rather die than quit. I gutted it out to the last climb, swallowed my last gel, and then tried to remember to make circles instead of squares. Groups of [mostly junior] riders from another field started to come by. Suffering and cowbells and suffering. Finally I made it to the feed zone where it flattened, and then made the turn for the last mile and a half to the finish line. Uphill. I fought all the way up, my cracked steering tube, a spongy accordian, and as I crossed the line, I heard the announcer say "triple X racing!"

And I was done in. I desperately needed water, but the though of food made me sick. The other women were all recovering -- eating, stretching, cooling down. I was the last woman to finish the race. And while finishing IS an accomplishment, it didn't feel so awesome to have people who had killed that course congratulate me.

But I'm very glad to have the experience. I have 2200 feet of climbing in my legs that I didn't have on Wednesday, and I have valuable knowledge for next year. And oh yes, I will be there next year if at all possible. Hopefully with my teammate Heidi -- who would be a real force in this race. Cat 3 limbo will not defeat me.

I was delighted to see my teammate Jacques had taken second in the men's cat 3 race -- yay, Jacques!

2009-06-15T15:15:00.003-05:00

It was rainy and cold at Sherman Park, but the cat 4/masters women's race was fast and interesting. There was a huge crash in the race before ours, so we circled the course in the rain until the ambulance left. By the time our race started, we were all soaked.

There were about 15 women, including four cat 3 masters racers. Lots of attacks -- two Wild Card women that raced cross kept trading attacks. I chased a lot down and so did Dana. It was a strong enough field that no one could ride away from the group -- although the masters women tried over and over.

There was a prime on the second to last lap. I went for it, but lost to a cat 3 from New Zealand. We had a little gap after the prime sprint and she started sitting up -- I shouted "GO! GO!" and she went. We traded pulls for almost half a lap, then she sat back and waited for the bunch that was bearing down on us. I can't sprint anyway, so I sat on the front and just pulled as hard as I could. It was tough -- for a moment I quailed, but I wanted to give it everything I had, Jens-style. I told myself to just HTFU and keep pushing. I tried to keep the pace high enough that no one would attack early. And it worked -- I found out later I actually dropped several women.

Coming into the final turn, Gigi was on my wheel and yelling at me to go faster, to lead her out. I was pretty much at my limit already, but I tried. I stood up and kept barreling to the line. My teammate Natalie and the New Zealand woman came around me -- Natalie WON! -- and I came in third, second in the masters. A result I'm very happy with.

It was really fun to be in an animated and difficult race. I attacked, I chased, I won a prime [SOCKS!]. I worked really hard.

Big huge thanks to all my teammates and everyone else that made this race happen. Stocky, Jeff Holland, Chris MacFarland, Brian Morrissey, Nikki Cyp, Jonathan Dugas, Get a Grip, everyone who set up, tore down, marshalled, worked registration, donated time or merchandise -- everyone who came out and raced. Thank you!

2009-06-09T10:42:00.003-05:00

My team - xXx Racing - AthletiCo - is putting on our annual race this Saturday and I hope you will all come.

Sherman Park has a lot to offer:
- its a good, non-technical course for people new to racing.
- its a good, non-technical course with wind, perfect for attacking and great for solo breakaways.
- it has a 40 minute women's cat 4 race.
- cat 4 women can race in the 60 minute Beth Kobeszka Memorial Women's Open - women don't get the opportunity to race twice in one day very often!
- its IN Chicago - you can ride to your race.
- there are lots of great primes.
- Its in a lovely park, perfect for a picnic with your family.
- deejayed music all day long.
- food and homemade pop available from Goose Island.

And much, much more. Come and have a good time with xXx.

http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?eventid=8569

2009-06-08T10:15:00.005-05:00

I had a lot of time on the bike this weekend and really, really enjoyed it.

On Saturday, I participated in part of the Erik Sprattling 3 State Memorial Ride -- Erik was one of the founders of xXx. He would regularly ride from Chicago to Wisconsin, back down through Chicago to Indiana and then home. As I was planning to race on Sunday, I didn't think I should do the entire 150 miles, but I rode up to the Wisconsin state border and back, which ended up being approximately 115 miles.

What was really cool about it was that it wasn't a big deal. I didn't suffer during the ride, I wasn't exhausted when I got home. My legs weren't destroyed. The pace wasn't blistering -- no one wanted to burn their matches attacking on St. Mary's with 90 miles in front of them -- but it wasn't sedate either. It was just really fun.

Sunday, I drove to Wisconsin for their State Road Championship race in lovely Spring Prairie. This was my third year in this race, and every year I'm impressed by how great the race is -- its a good course, well marshalled, well organized. A big thanks to all the organizers and volunteers.

There were about 20 women in the combined cat 4/masters women field. And it was a strong group including Janette from *mostly black bulldog*, a couple Tati girls, Kim the strong newbie from the Memorial Day masters race, and a bunch of tough Wisconsin women. Two new xXx teammates, Dana and Natalie in their first road race, were also in the pack. There were a number of attacks in the first couple laps that could not get free from this group. It was a hard, interesting, animated race. I felt comfortable in the pack, able to move around reasonably well, able to follow the moves. My new HED stingers rode like a dream -- I was cornering more confidently and my bike just felt lighter and more responsive. Those wheels just eat up the pavement.

I don't know if Saturday's miles were to blame, or if I'm just not climbing as well as last year, but when Natalie launched a blistering attack up the big hill at the end of the third lap, I got gapped. The pack let Natalie dangle off the front almost to turn two. Finally it caught her, spit her out the back and slowed down. She and I caught back on and tried to recover.

I knew at this point that I wasn't going up that hill fast enough to contend. So I tried to get Natalie and Dana in good positions. I wanted to get on the front and drill it, but everyone was trying to get up front and I got blocked in. And then we were at the hill. Dana took 5th in the cat 4s and Natalie took 11th -- awesome, especially in their first road race. I finished at the back of the pack.

It was a good race, and good training for me. I have a lot of work to do, but I'm enjoying the process.

Afterwards, Dana and I stayed to cheer Heidi on in the women's open. She stuck with the front group -- that included the tough cat 1 racers from team BH -- for the entire race and finished strong in sixth or seventh place. SO cool to see.

You can't tell, but here she is cresting the hill on their fourth lap.

2009-06-05T09:48:00.009-05:00

Raced track at Northbrook for the first time this year. SO MUCH FUN! I got there early to practice as I haven't been on a track bike since last August, so I got a good hour of warmup. There was a comparatively large womens' cat 4 field this week, with eight in the first race. It was a Danish win-and-out and not knowing any of the other womens' strengths, I attacked hard to win the first lap -- and gave a really great lead-out to a first time track racer who's a strong cat 3 on the road. Unfortunately, if you don't win the first sprint, its almost impossible to win the second, and I got nipped at the line. But I managed to hang on for a third full-on lap, this time winning the sprint by centimeters. So third place in the first race.

My pal Robin came out to watch -- I haven't seen her in forever. Hopefully she'll be RACING the next time I see her at Northbrook. I also got to catch up with Francine, Val and Kristen a bit. Yay.

The second women's race was a 24 lap points race, sprints every 3 laps and the 4s were combined with the tree cat 1&2 women -- so fast and hard. I found standing up to sprint on the track bike awkward, so I concentrated on spinning as hard as I could while sitting. I got a little gapped on a couple of the sprints, but caught on quickly afterwards. I attacked and won a $5 prime, then held on for second place in the next sprint lap. But I had nothing for the final sprint and came in last, losing my battle for fifth place overall to a new Cuttin' Crew girl.

It was chilly -- so Matt Moran brought his Snuggie. While he was racing, Dave Moyer [who after handily winning the first cat 4 race of the evening, was upgraded to cat 3 on the spot] snagged it to stay warm. Team Pegasus coveted the Snuggie.

Third race was an unknown distance, and the cat 4 women were on our own again. Seven of us had a really fun, animated race, with lots of attacks. I was finally getting the hang of sprinting standing, and when the bell finally rang, I was third wheel. I came around the first two, but the cat 3 roadie on my wheel came around me for the win. I got second, my best result of the evening. I think with more practice, I'll be able to stick with the sprints without getting gapped and even win a sprint against strong women. All in all, my first night of track racing this year was better than my best night of track racing last year.

And I won $17!!

Most of which I handed over in exchange for some awesome [if I say so myself] new xXx socks. They came out great, I think.

2009-06-04T12:54:00.005-05:00

Had a little crash yesterday. I was training with three teammates on the Lakefront Path, when the person beside me hit a rut and fell into me. I thought we were going to keep it upright for several long seconds, but then our balance shifted and I hit the sidewalk pretty hard. Arg.

Happily it was cold. I was wearing a long sleeved jersey and base layer -- I hate to think what my elbow would look like right now without them. Let alone my collarbone. As it is I have an alarming and tender red spot where my clavicle and shoulder meet. The layers of cloth moving against each other and the sidewalk may have saved me a world of pain. My base layer has quite the hole in it.

But I'm fine. My bike wasn't so lucky. The derailleur hanger is seriously bent and my derailleur is stuck in my spokes. I ended up carrying it to work. Its at the shop now, I'm waiting to hear if anything else is broken.

On the bright side, I'm heading out to Northbrook to race track tonight. With the road bike out of commission for now, the track bike steps up!

2009-05-26T16:44:00.003-05:00

I raced the ABD Memorial Day masters' criterium yesterday -- and I have to start by saying that ABD puts on great races. Well-organized, well-marshalled races on good courses. Monday's race was in an industrial park on a wide, smooth road with sweeping corners, a couple false flats and a bit of wind.

I lined up with 7 other women for our 50 minute +2 lap race. Four 40+ and four 30+. We were combined with the 50+ men and allowed to work together. It was good pack practice for me . . . for a lap and a half. I got gapped and was chasing the bunch that two 40+ women were still clinging to. I got lucky and they got gapped right after I did, and the three of us continued on with a couple dropped men.

I'd raced with one of the women before, she's experienced and strong. The other was just strong - very strong. The experienced woman and I traded a few attacks. She tried to exploit my my weakness in the corners, but these corners were so gentle, and the roads so wide, that I didn't have even a moment of panic. Then we settled in and worked well together. Eventually, the bunch lapped us -- we weren't able to integrate -- and then a train of about 6 guys came by and we jumped on.

Despite a couple of the guys being super squirrely, it was really fun. Fast with lots of attacks and jockeying, but easy enough to hang in. I could tell that the experienced woman was tiring a bit, but the other, despite sitting in the wind a lot, was not.

We let the men go on the last lap. I got third wheel and . . . I don't know, maybe I haven't raced enough this year. Maybe I'm just really, really dumb. But I totally screwed up the sprint. The strong woman attacked into the wind on the false flat but couldn't drop us. I considered counter-attacking, but feared it was too soon. And then I didn't sprint hard out of the corner. I sat behind the other two waiting for them to do something. And then they did and I came in third.

Why didn't I go? What's wrong with me? When will I learn that I regret inaction more than action, even ineffectual action.

Anyway, it was very refreshing to not get dropped immediately and it was just a really good, fun, interesting race overall. And hopefully I've learned something [that I should already know. Jeez!]

I stayed to watch the men's 40+ 1-2-3 race, and had the pleasure of seeing Mark Schwartzendruber ride away from the field. He attacked early and made time on the bunch with every lap. Amazing.

2009-05-20T15:38:00.002-05:00

OK, this was supposed to be a photo of Heidi crossing the line, but I guess iPhones aren't cut out for sports photography. Maybe there's an app for that?

Today was the Fitness Check Time Trial #2. My time was 26.56 -- a 1:35 faster than six weeks ago and 23 seconds faster than last year at this time. Still 11 seconds slower than my PR last July, but I'm not unhappy. Especially as I feel I'm behind in my training.

I felt I went out a little slow. I ride faster when I'm racing someone other than myself. Sighting my minute man and reeling her in helped, but what really spurred me on was when the guy behind me went by and I sped up to chase him -- and found the higher speed well within my capabilities. I have to practice riding faster when there's no one to chase.

2009-05-19T15:45:00.003-05:00

Wore my new Rudy cycling glasses for the first time this morning and they ROCK! They are so much better than my old cycling glasses. So lightweight and comfortable. I had my prescription put in with transitional lenses, so I can use them night and day. Yay.

My newly overhauled bike feels great, but my powertap wouldn't work this morning. I've really come to depend on it. The computer had a low battery, so I've replaced it and hope that will fix everything. If not, I've downloaded the manual and will try "computer setup 5". I'd really like to have the power data from tomorrow's Fitness Check TT. I strongly suspect my fabulous vacation took a toll on my fitness -- despite running every staircase I came across [which didn't annoy my in-laws too much, I hope] and walking for hours every day. But it was a good break and now I can start building more muscle and fitness.

I haven't been racing as much as last year. Partially it just hasn't worked out and partially I guess the cat 1-2-3 field has demoralized me a bit. I'm going to hit one of the ABR masters races this weekend and see if that lifts my spirits.

2009-05-18T16:36:00.010-05:00

Got back from Europe last night. Great trip -- really fun. We started in Paris [picture of Jackie and I at Sacre Coeur above -- where the WORST BUSKER IN THE WORLD performed 'Hotel California' phonetically. He's on those steps behind my head].

We took a day trip to Versailles -- rode these comfort bikes around the city and estate. I was thrilled to be on any bike. It was actually sort of a let down to get off and tour the palace. Rococo isn't very exciting. I'm thinking of adopting this kit permanently.

Here's the Eiffel tower.

We watched the end of a couple Giro stages on French TV. Didn't understand much the sportscaster said, but we could follow the action. Then on to Zurich, where we watched more stages of the Giro live in our enormous hotel suite [seriously, four huge rooms, two showers, a front hallway and free in-room breakfast in our dining room]. Still couldn't understand the sportscaster, still enjoyed it thoroughly.

Zurich and Paris were very bike-friendly.

So now I'm back and ready to ride! I feel terribly out of shape and sorta jet-lagged, but it was worth it. While I was away, my bike had a long-overdue overhaul, so it, at least, is on form.

2009-05-02T22:26:00.003-05:00

I went out to Maple Park today for the John Fraser Memorial Time Trial -- a good opportunity to try out my TT setup and get some good practice in. I raced the course twice, first in the W40+ category and once in the women's open.

We got there late, so I didn't have time to warm up properly. 10 minutes back and forth near the start house and then I was up. It HURT. I had my 30 second "man" in sight, and slowly reeled her in. We passed the guy a minute in front of her at the turnaround and soon after, I passed her. However, I started to die in the headwind and she passed me back. I also didn't know where the finish line was, so I wasn't able to gauge my effort optimally. My time was 21.03 - not terrible, but not very good either. It was only 8-ish miles.

Afterwards, my lungs felt like they were full of broken glass and [oddly] I felt like my teeth needed to fall out.

I got my other number pinned and went back to the start house for my second effort. This one felt better -- the aerobars weren't so awkward, my breathing was better. I felt like I was spinning better. I didn't have anyone directly in front of me, but I did eventually catch and pass my minute man. The wind had gotten stronger, but I didn't feel like I was losing power the way I did the first time. I ended up being a bit slower - 21.17, I think. Afterwards, I felt OK. I guess I didn't work hard enough.

I placed fifth in both categories.

2009-04-30T10:23:00.005-05:00

I raced Leland - Kermesse last Saturday. I use the term 'raced' lightly -- it was a fantastic course, and Flatlandia put on a good event, but due to other races that day and forboding weather, only four people showed up to race the women's open. Three of us from xXx - Jeanette, Beth and I.

Right before the start, the official informed us that not only were the men's cat three field combined [but scored separately] with the men's cat 1-2 field, but that the women's open was also being thrown in there. We hadn't expected this, and were at the back -- which isn't where we needed to be to actually stay with that group. After a mile or two of my lousy pack skills keeping me in the wind, I dropped back to find a less exposed position -- just as the group surged. I was off and unable to bridge in the stiff crosswind. The others dropped back then as well -- being three quarters of a small pack effectively erasing my mortifying mistake.

Until we got to the turn onto the dirt road. I panicked, took a very bad line, and got myself dropped again. Again, my teammates held up for me. Feeling like the complete idiot I was, I went to the front and rode angry, inadvertently dropping the non-xXx racer. She worked furiously to catch us for quite a long time, but the wind was too much. Jeanette, Beth and I rode the next 4 laps together -- no excitement other than the lightening, thunder, rain, howling wind, slippery gravel and mud. We were the last field on the road.

Beth attacked on the dirt road, Jeanette and I countered. I sat on Jeanette for half the dirt road, then attacked, dropping Beth. Jeanette stuck to my wheel until the filth I was throwing up into her face got the best of her and I opened up a respectable gap. I thought I had a chance then, and gave everything I could on the long, uphill finishing stretch. But Jeanette is FAST. She caught me before the finish and won handily. She deserved it - she was the strongest person in our race and hadn't made any dumb mistakes. The volunteers and officials who'd stayed in the rain until we finished were delighted we fought each other for the win.

I have lots to work on. Cornering, pack riding, power, speed . . . pretty much everything, I guess.

2009-04-21T16:52:00.000-05:00

Yowza!

2009-04-20T10:37:00.004-05:00

Its raining. I watched 'Michael Clayton' on the trainer yesterday. Very good movie. This morning on the trainer I watched a documentary about the guy who did the 'Davey & Goliath' cartoons. Turns out he was a dirty hippie who took drugs and joined a cult. Heh. He also is the genius behind 'Gumby' - it tells you something about my upbringing that I'm way more familiar with 'Davey & Goliath' than 'Gumby.'

I have to get off the trainer. April IS the cruelest month. A beautiful day here and there just to really rub in what you're missing while it SNOWS and rains and freezes.

I keep watching the video of Bos bringing down Impey -and himself- in the final kilometers of the Tour of Turkey. That's panic and bad bike handling, not malicious tactics. No one WANTS to crash.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JMY68cS9gw

2009-04-17T10:57:00.002-05:00

I wore fingerless gloves this morning! Wheeee.

Friday is active recovery day. I rode to work, and seriously, I *tried* to keep my HR down. But it is really hard to allow other cyclists to pass me - not to mention not chasing down the ones up ahead. I need more discipline.

I know that about three people read this blog [Hi, Brian. Hi, Eve. Hi, mom.] but I'm still going to plug the chainlink - www.thechainlink.org/ - The chainlink is an online community of Chicago cyclists, all kinds of cyclists - casual, competitive, and everyone in between. Check it out.

2009-04-16T09:43:00.003-05:00

I had an excellent ride this morning with two of my favorite training partners, Eileen and Dana. Not too fast and not too slow, but steady and just challenging enough for a rest week, endurance ride. It felt great.

Also great? Walking out the door before 6 am to full sunlight.

Third thing that is awesomely great (and at the same time completely terrible)? Whole Foods has started carrying vegan marshmallows. I'm deeply ambivalent.

2009-04-14T16:33:00.002-05:00

Just registered for the John Fraser Memorial Time Trial. I'm going to ride it twice -- in the 40+ category and then again in the Women's Open. It will be interesting to see how the two efforts compare. And it will be good experience for stage racing. I actually have a TT setup now, so learning to use it will be good. In theory, time trialing should be one of my strengths.

Sprint practice tonight. I SO don't want to go. I work out in the mornings for several reasons, but one of the main ones is that I have a hard time motivating myself in the evenings. Sitting at a desk all day does my legs no favors. But I'm committed, I guess.

Crappy mood lately. Not sure how to shake it.

2009-04-09T09:50:00.003-05:00

Those chip timers totally give us cankles.

I'm planning my attack.

2009-04-08T09:13:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling slow lately.

Today was the first of four Fitness Check Time Trials that coach holds every six weeks. And its official: I AM slow.

Sprint clinic last night was good -- not the horrible trauma its been the past few years. My body simply wasn't designed to sprint, and it forgets how so completely. But I picked it up again much more easily this year. AND I even beat someone in one of the seven sprints! That never happens. Lots of practice will make me an effective lead out or sweeper again.

Recovering from my big effort this morning feels good. Must ride harder more often.

2009-04-06T10:56:00.004-05:00

Hillsboro-Roubaix was Saturday -- one of my favorite races. With a 22 mile loop, its a "real" road race with challenging hills, sharp turns, rough roads (including a brick section) and killer cross- and headwinds. I've raced Hillsboro for the past three years - it was my first road race. This is my first year in the Women's cat 1-2-3 field.

I line up with about 40 other women. On both sides of me are pro racers. This is going to be HARD. In the first half mile I drop from the front of the pack to about halfway back before I catch a wheel I can hold. I'm starting to get the rhythm, when I see the women ahead standing up and sprinting. An attack up the first hill. I get ready to go and . . . my legs don't work. I have no idea why, but I can not spin. Beth comes by yelling 'grab my wheel!' but I can't. My legs are exhausted. They are made of cement.

I fall through the pack like I'm riding backwards. When I finally crest the hill, the pack is 150 feet up the road. Pathetic.

I bridge to another shelled rider and work with her. We get 40 feet from the pack before the next attack takes it away from us permanently. Of course, NOW I'm feeling strong. I ride away from the woman I'd been working with and bridge up to the next dropped rider and work with her up to the next. By halfway through the first lap, I'm in a group of six solid riders. We have a rotating paceline going and we're working well together. This is my race.

The first time up the hills and onto the bricks confirms that three of the women can climb adequately. Our group is back together by the start/finish line and we continue to work well together through the second lap. I'm tired. I haven't brought enough food. I eat everything I have except one gel that I save for the end. I take my pulls. I watch the other women.

We ride up the feed hill at a moderate pace and then we all recover on the flat. We start up the last hill and I attack. I still have my gearing from camp -- compact cranks and a 27/12 cassette -- so I have no problem powering up the hill in my big ring. I get a gap, I can hardly believe it. At the false flat I push harder, trying to extend my lead, then scream down the hill onto the bricks at full speed. I take the corner hot and sneak a look behind me -- I still have a good gap! I push and push and push up the long brick section, I'm almost there. I sprint out of the corner onto the finishing stretch, sit down and haul to the 200 ft sign and then sprint again and I WIN . . . my chase group.

I'm 19 minutes behind the winner, 28th place.

It really drove home my big weaknesses: riding in a big pack; explosive power; and to a lesser degree, climbing. I need to spend some quality time at Matteson this year.

Congratulations to Rebecca Much for winning the 1-2-3 race [way to go!], to Jessie Prinner for getting in the break with the pros and finishing fifth, and the amazing Kristin Meshberg for taking the field sprint. In the cat 4 race, my teammate Jeanette took second place -- bringing home the first trophy brick for the xXx women -- and my pal Leah Sanda took third. Two awesome racers who need to UPGRADE SOON and join me in cat 3 limbo. And congrats to all the xXx men who rode hard and placed well in their races.

The race was a blast. Can't wait 'til next year!

2009-04-02T13:31:00.002-05:00

Perhaps I'm just tired, but I feel slow. Early season [lack of] fitness is a drag. Intervals are excruciating. My body has completely forgotten how to sprint.

I AM tired.

Heading to Hillsboro to race on Saturday. Really looking forward to this race, one of my favorite courses. I screwed up my chance at a brick last year by dropping my chain after the penultimate hill. This year, NO chance for a brick -- the women's open very well may chew me up and spit me out the back of the pack. It will be painful, but the good kind of pain. I will enjoy it.

2009-03-30T09:43:00.004-05:00

First race of the year on Saturday - the Burnham Racing Super Spring Crit. I raced this last year and really liked the course, a moto speedway about two miles long. Flat with wide turns and serious wind.

I got there early to watch the women's cat 4 race. Leah from Flatlandia won it for the second year in a row (Congrats, Leah!) and an up-and-comer from Cuttin' Crew took second. Then I warmed up for the women's open with a bunch of the other racers. There were ten of us at the line: Beth and me from xXx, a couple Kenda Tire girls, Pascale of Project 5, Leah of Flatlandia, Sue and Jessie from ABD, a woman from Cafe Hollander and a woman from Wolverine.

I have to admit, I've been a bit apprehensive about racing in the women's open. A bit intimidated. This is a bad mindset to bring into a race - it makes you tentative when you should be aggressive.

We start. No one wants to pull into the wind. I'm trying to get a feel for the group - I figure I have a couple laps to see who has what, a couple laps to settle into the course. I'm sitting near the back trying to get comfortable in the group - when Jessie attacks. I see her go by me and my first thought is to stand up and do everything I can to grab her wheel. But that millisecond passes and I'm boxed in. I shout out to Beth - and everyone else - that there's an attack. Its the first lap, I don't really expect this to go anywhere. But it's Jessie Prinner, so it breaks up the field and I'm on the wrong side of the break.

Such a dumb mistake. I watch four women ride away and feel like a chump.

I try to organize the five women in my group into a viable chase. But riders start dropping off one by one. After three laps, its just Leah and me, and she - tired from her efforts in the cat 4 race - is fading. So I drop her with four to go. Occasionally I get a glimpse of the race ahead of me. I time trial through the rest of the race. I enjoy it. I like the course, I like riding hard, giving my all. But its sad and bitter trailing the leaders.

Jessie wins (congratulations, Jessie!), Pascale takes second and a Kenda cat one takes third. I'm fifth of ten.

Moral: the women's open is not a cat 4 race. As expected, its faster and harder and filled with strong women itching to animate the race. But its not anything to be afraid of - I'm up to this challenge. Its better to try something grand and fail than to regret your caution. What would Jens do? Everything he possibly could. Time to start racing like Jens.

Big kudos to the xXx men, bringing home first and second place in both the 4/5 and the 30+ 4/5!

2009-03-26T12:40:00.002-05:00

A lot has happened since heading off for San Luis Obispo on March 6th. Training camp was awesome, of course. I started the week with a cold which really effected my stamina. It was all I could do on Saturday to ride wheels. Some very nice teammates dragged me along the coast and back to the Peach Tree Inn for a much needed nap. Sunday was better -- no punch, but more endurance. Monday was up and down - endurance was OK, but I couldn't climb well. I bonked about halfway through the 108 mile ride, but recovered and finished feeling much better than I had any right to.

After our recovery day on Tuesday, I started riding stronger. Felt pretty craptastic at the beginning of each day's ride, but I was climbing much better and able to follow the attacks instead of watching everyone ride away. I rode up Black Mountain with Heidi and Greta and enjoyed it a lot more. It seemed like such a ridiculous thing to do last year, ride up a crumbling 7 mile access road with several 20% grades mixed into a 7-8% average. This year, it was sorta fun. Heidi used the first long 20% section to launch herself. Greta ended up having to put a foot down, so the three of us chased each other to the top.

The day we rode up the Wall, I could also see improvement over last year. I made it up faster and more easily - and later in the day did not get dropped on a series of smaller hills and flats into a headwind that had defeated me for the last three years. That alone made my week. By Saturday, I was feeling good -- just in time for a quick 30 miles before the trip home.

I had the next week off work for Spring Break, so instead of scheduling a rest week, I continued with long endurance rides. The weather was lovely and I found myself really wishing I had the youth and talent (or whatever) to quit my job and ride my bike. I had a big weekend scheduled.

But ended up flying to Philadelphia instead. My father drove the 6 hours from his home in western Pennsylvania for a conference, and ended up in the hospital with septic shock from an infection in his replaced hip. He had two surgeries in the first four days to clean out the abscesses, and had two more scheduled for Monday and Thursday of this week. My stepmother had to return to their home to prepare for an indefinite stay in Philly, so I flew out to be with Dad. Good thing, he really needed me. The infection is clearing up, but he's looking at long-term antibiotics and a complicated removal of the hip prosthesis with uncertain results.

I'm back on my bike today - ostensibly for a rest-week endurance ride. But I had tons of stress and nervous energy to burn and ended up in a paceline with my HR at 90%. Ooops. I'm planning on my first race of the season this Saturday and I'm looking forward to it. I really have no idea how I'll do in the Women's Open this year, so it will be good to start getting a feel for where I'm at and what I need to do.

2009-03-06T10:02:00.004-06:00

Heading out to camp today!!! I'm so excited. I'm feeling much better -- not 100%, but much better. I rode yesterday and I'm hoping that helped my immune system. The warm weather certainly isn't hurting.

The Dish Network guy is here and I can't start packing up my bike until he's done. I have five hours until I leave for the airport, but I'm starting to get ancy. Here's hoping I can get the second pedal off without issue.

CAMP!!!!

2009-03-03T11:08:00.002-06:00

I'm so frickin' pissed off - I'm SICK. Three days before camp and I'm sick.

It started differently than usual - instead of getting that nasty feeling in my throat, I got this heaviness in my lungs. Now I'm exhausted and coughing and feel like I have a couple bricks on my chest. I'm eating zinc like its candy, and painting my nostrils with zicam. Somehow I need to get more sleep, but with work, training, and preparing for camp, I'm lucky to get 7 hours.

Maybe this explains why I was so slow on Saturday and so exhausted on Sunday. I felt like a dirty, dirty shirker Sunday and had to force myself onto the trainer. The workout was fine - my workout today was fine - but afterwards I felt like a dishrag.

I hate being sick. I've done really well this past year. In '07, I was sick, like six times, but I started taking the zicam and washing my hands until they cracked and bled and I stayed healthy all year. And now, right before the week I look forward to more than any other week of the year, SICK.

2009-02-27T12:44:00.003-06:00

I had a 'max power' test last night. I'm looking for data on competitive female cyclists to find out where I stand right now. As with the 40 minute power test, I can't find comparable numbers – just the chart with the 1 minute, 5 minute and 20 minute tests. However, I think I can extrapolate that I'm doing OK. I think.

I also had body fat analysis [in the Bod Pod!]. Much easier to find body fat data – happily I'm solidly in the range for female athletes [12-18%]. I was actually surprised that my percentage was as low as it is [14%, give or take], I was afraid it would be over 20%. That it's nowhere NEAR 20% really illustrates that, as with many people who've had a lifelong struggle with weight, I don't have an accurate concept of my physical self.

Looking forward to training camp! One more week.

2009-02-20T10:31:00.007-06:00

.
Things to do before camp:

- take my bike in for new brake pads, new cassette and chain + general maintenance

- buy extra tubes

- put on new tires

- make a boot out of old tire

- locate some Hammer Gel brand Perpetuem (has anyone tried this? Its vegan and has some protein in it for long rides)

- improve power-to-weight ratio

- get more packing material for bike case

- stay healthy

- get new mid-weight gloves to replace the ones with big holes in the palms

- spin drills, one-legged drills, spin drills, one-legged drills . . .

- count down the minutes.
.

2009-02-11T09:10:00.002-06:00

I ate too much breakfast. Arg. I need a nap now.

I've had high adventures on the Lakefront Path lately. Yesterday I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather and ride outdoors, but due to previous commitments, wasn't able to actually get on the Path until 6:30 pm -- after dark. Everyone else on earth was taking advantage of the weather as well, so I was dodging hundreds of joggers in the dark. It was impossible to get above active recovery.

Then I hit Oak Street Beach. Which is STILL a big icy mess. All cyclists are forced to dismount and pick their way across the 100 yards of muddy, seaweed strewn ice. Its ridonkulous that the city hasn't done anything to clean that up.

As per usual, almost no joggers -- or other cyclists -- south of the Aquarium. Which was great at first, but got increasingly creepy. Riding through a wooded area with no street lamps, the modern, urban woman's constant low-level fear of attack ramped up to yellow. And when I caught sight of a dark figure moving in the trees, it hit red. I turned around.

This morning, I'd planned to do my three hours on the Path before work. Yes, it was supposed to rain, but my knee has been bothering me and the trainer aggravates it. And no reason to think it actually would rain when I wanted to be out there.

But it was, of course. But not hard, just a steady drizzle. Dana texted that she was still in if I was, so I suited up and headed out. I turned around twice, but the thought of the trainer turned me right back around. I was already out there, after all.

And we had a good ride. Dana got us started, and once my legs warmed up I was able to pull us down the path at a good clip. We turned around at the golf course and chatted our way back north at endurance pace. Back at the aquarium, however, Dana flatted. We stopped under an overhang to change it -- she has the tightest tires! We fought with it for way longer than I want to admit. Finally we got it off the rim, changed the tube quickly and got on our way. But it was too late -- we'd cooled off and in our wet clothes were really suffering. I cut my ride short before I lost feeling in my hands.

So, I still have an hour to ride today. And it will most likely still be raining after work when its time to ride home. Wheee.

2009-02-10T13:47:00.001-06:00

Noticed this morning that I had to increase power output to get my HR into endurance. Training is working.

2009-02-09T09:31:00.003-06:00

I did a "power test" this weekend. 40 minutes, full on, on the computrainer alongside 18 teammates. I've never done one before, so I wasn't sure how it was going to go. After we calibrated our stations, the guy running the test came around and asked each of us if we'd had a power test before and if so, what our average power was. I hadn't, so he guessed. He guessed 145. Which I questioned -- that's endurance pace for me. But as I didn't really know what was supposed to happen, I let it go. But during the warmup, I see the guys on either side of me really working while I'm spinning away in active recovery. Finally when I can see on the screen that I'm supposed to be on the hardest level, I tell the guy that mine isn't getting harder. He assures me it isn't broken.

Then the test. 40 minutes, just you going as hard as you can up and down hills. You can watch your progress on the screen in relation to everyone else's. You can see your power and your average power. I know where I can hold my heart rate in the Fitness Check time trials that last 25-30 minutes, so I aim for slightly lower than that, and just hold it. Its hard, but doable. After 30 minutes, I ramp it up slightly and for the last two minutes, I just crank it out as hard as possible. I almost throw up.

But my average for 40 minutes is 201! And my power to weight ratio for 40 minutes was 3.3. On the 20 minute test charts (I haven't found a 40 minute chart yet), this puts me solidly in cat 3 territory. In February. On the wrong chart. Lots of room for improvement, but I'm satisfied.

I rode an endorphin wave home.

Sunday, the Women's Development Program had a potluck get together to talk about the team target races, our individual goals and our goals as a team. It was really cool to hear what all the different people are thinking about. New women and longtime teammates alike. I think its going to be a good season.

2009-02-02T18:55:00.002-06:00

January fitness. Its sort of amazing that I can no longer do what I was able to do just a few months ago. A couple weeks relaxing, a month and a half keeping my heart rate under 150 . . . and the first outdoor team ride in weeks shows me how fast that top end slips away.

But I'm not bothered. I got dropped on team rides last January too. I'll get it all back and more, relatively quickly. February is the beginning of intensity training, March is camp, April is sprint intervals . . .

2009-01-27T09:14:00.003-06:00

Tonight I'm going to swap out my saddle for one I got at the bike swap. Since my bike fit a week and a half ago, my legs have felt a LOT better . . . but I'm developing a nasty saddle sore. This saddle has never been quite as comfortable as I would like, but its also never been bad enough to change. Until now.

Just thinking about racing makes my HR jump 15 points. Heh, I have to stop so I can stay in my endurance zone.

2009-01-26T17:03:00.002-06:00

The real problem, for me, with the cold, is time.

When its warm enough, I ride my bike to the lakefront path before work, do my training, ending up at work where I can shower, etc. in the locker room. I don't have to spend an hour in traffic, so I can get up an hour or so later.

But when its cold and snowy and icy and I ride indoors, I have to account for that extra hour. I still have to be at work by 9 am no matter what the weather. This means I'm up before 5 am. And in two weeks, it means I'll be up before 4 am. Ugh.

The alternative is to sit on the trainer after work. Which, if I can't get to bed until after 10 pm, I do. But its tough on my legs to ride a couple hours in the evening and then a couple more early the next morning. And, you know, sometimes I have stuff to do in the evenings. See friends, spend time with Jackie. You know, have a life.

Maybe the weather isn't my real problem, maybe its having a job. Where's my million dollars?

2009-01-20T18:56:00.003-06:00

I am completely unsurprised by the study that found that women feel hunger more intensely than men. When confronted with favorite foods on an empty stomach men were able to use techniques they were taught to dismiss their hunger. Women in the same situation practising the same techniques still had just as much brain activity in their hunger center. Women are hardwired to eat when food is available. Sigh.

Went to see Max Testa speak this evening. Upshot was pretty much that people genetically predisposed to cycle well, will cycle well. And lactic acid testing is good. Then a bunch of stuff about triathletes. And if you have a good base already, hours of easy pedalling are a waste of time. That's all I remember right now.

So I'm predestined to be hungry and an unexceptional cyclist. Could be worse, I guess.

2009-01-13T13:09:00.003-06:00

I'm hungry. Always so hungry.

Last week I started winter training in earnest -- one-legged drills, spinning drills (I'm better at both than I was last year. Nice to see progress) -- and lots and lots of endurance paced riding. I've been resisting riding the trainer as much as possible, so Saturday I did the team ride despite the extravagantly falling snow. Another xXxer and I rode our cross bikes up to Highland Park and back. It was surprisingly do-able and really fun. The knobby cross tires have little problem with snow-covered roads. Love that bike.

Sunday, I attempted the Lakefront Path. I rode down to Navy Pier on the streets to avoid the whole Oak Street Beach disaster, hopped on the trail at the bridge, but within 1000 feet realized it was a no-go. It hadn't been plowed, but it had been well-used by joggers and was surprisingly treacherous -- especially considering how rideable the roads were on Saturday. I turned around and finished my ride on the dirty, dirty streets.

And now I'm on a rest week. I'm fighting a bug, so the extra sleep is needed. I just wish I weren't always so ravenous.

2009-01-09T11:37:00.002-06:00

The view from my trainer.

2009-01-07T09:38:00.001-06:00

This cross bike was the best thing I bought last year. Being able to do my training ride outdoors in this weather is priceless.

2009-01-06T10:34:00.003-06:00

First day of one-legged drills. I'm definitely better at them than I was last year. And it's something different -- the trainer is fine with drills to focus on.

Cross bike was great in the snow this morning. Love riding to work.

60 days to camp!

2009-01-05T12:58:00.000-06:00

61 days to camp!

2008-12-29T11:04:00.004-06:00

Friday morning, I wake up determined to get in a good training ride outdoors. I'm so sick of the trainer -- after one week -- I would rather shove carpet tacks in my gums than turn one more pedal stroke indoors. I'm fully dressed for the 25 degree weather by the time the weather guy tells me that its icy out. I decide to give it a go anyway.

I get the cross bike and head out the gangway . . . to find the gate is snow/iced in and I'm not getting out of the yard that way. So I go in the back door and out the front door. The front porch is a touch slippery, and I can see the glossy sheen of sheer ice covering the front steps and sidewalk. But I have good balance, ice is rarely a problem. Confident in my abilities, I pick up my bike, put one bootie-encased mountain shoe on the top step . . . and fall down the stairs. All the stairs. Happily, I fell feet first and landed on the sidewalk on my butt -- I don't want to think about falling head first. I get up and check the bike -- looks OK; check the new iPhone in my back pocket -- it turns on; look around for my keys . . . and can't find them. Not on the ice or in the snow or in my pocket. They are, yes, at the top of the icy steps where I dropped them on my way down. I have to climb back up to get them, and then down again. This time, I make generous use of the railing.

I figure I'll give the ride a go -- I can always turn around if its impossible -- but considering how crazy icy my carefully shoveled front walk is, my plan of riding the lakefront path is out. I stick to the roads and head out towards Highland Park. The main roads were largely clear of ice, traffic was light, and I had a good ride.

Saturday its in the 50s when I wake up. I'm going on the team ride! I get my road bike off the trainer and pump up the tires. I tape the ankle I whacked on my trip down the stairs the day before, get my rain coat out and slip bread bags over my socks. I head down to Wicker, but find no one there. I wait around for a couple minutes, then head north up Damen -- people often join in on the way, and there should be a couple up at Pratt & Ridge. But there isn't. I am the team ride this week. I again head north towards Highland Park, enjoying the feeling of being on my road bike again. Its wet, but its warm, so I'm not suffering. North of Evanston, it gets misty, which is a bit freaky. I have several lights blinking on my bike and person, so I'm reasonably visible, but not being able to see more than 30 feet ahead isn't optimum. By the time I get back on Sheridan after the little detour on old Green Bay and Scott, its raining in earnest and the fog is increasing. At the top of the hills, I can't see the bottom. So a mile or so from Scott, I pack it in and turn around. Back on old Green Bay, I run into a Pony Shop guy, and we do a loop up Green Bay back to Scott together. Nice to have company. We diverge north of Evanston, and the rain lets up as I ride south. I'm half dry by the time I get home.

Sunday is sunny and bright. Its cooled down to the low 30s again, and there's a wind, but its a lovely day for a ride. I head to the lakefront path, sick of traffic and stop lights. There's a little ice, but nothing that gives me much trouble. Stiff wind from the southwest to get my heart beating. A really nice endurance ride.

I'm hoping the reasonable winter weather persists and the trainer can sit alone and unused.

2008-12-23T09:07:00.001-06:00

FAIL!

I noticed this last night. Heh, I wonder if all the medals say "trail" instead of "trial" or I just lucked into this one.

2008-12-22T13:18:00.008-06:00

Got back on the bike yesterday for the first time in two weeks. And I surprised myself with how much I WANTED to be on the trainer and how much I enjoyed it. Heh, that won't last.

Everything's a bit disorganized right now. I raced Montrose Harbor two weeks ago and haven't touched any gear since. I can't find my heart rate strap or embrocation [my new word, learned from Velonews and now used in a sentence]. Or my fingerless gloves. I can pedal for an hour without that stuff, but longer than that will be a problem.

I bought my plane ticket to training camp last week. I'm already excited!

Chicago Bike Racing has an interview with Kristen Meshberg up. She's teaming up with Devon next year -- the two amazing women who've dominated the local bike racing scene. I'm hopeful that I will grow to be competitive with them at some point. It won't be easy or quick, but consistent hard work should get me there eventually. Right? OK, it'll never happen. But I'm interested to see how the season will unfold anyway.

We have some new women joining xXx for 2009, and I'm very excited about that too. I can't wait to get them on the road.

-----

I was flipping channels last night and came across concert footage of David Bowie as Ziggy Startdust and the Spiders from Mars. Which was pretty awesome -- I haven't seen it in a long time. I was reading Velonews while Mick Ronson played a 15 minute guitar solo in the middle of Width of a Circle while Bowie changed costumes [from something FloJo would have worn into a onesie an adorable 2 year old girl might wear]. Bowie finishes the song, then portentiously walks [barefoot] to the back of the stage. The camera lingers. Jackie yells "Mime! Do mime!" And Bowie runs forward . . . into an invisible wall!!! He actually does MIME! Jackie wails that she didn't mean it! But for several minutes he feels his way back and forth along the invisible wall until he finally finds a crack and pries it open. I watch, horror-stricken. Cringing into the couch. I want to die, both FOR him and just in general. When he's finally free of the wall, I go off to bed. Reconciling the absolute coolness of David Bowie with mime [and not even inventive mime] is too much for my tiny brain.

2008-12-16T10:58:00.003-06:00

My team had our annual banquet Sunday. It was a warm and friendly evening at Goose Island. Lots of food and mingling. My special lady, Jackie, DeeJayed -- and thus actually thoroughly enjoyed a cycling event.

I was again voted women's road MVP by my teammates. And was again overcome by that honor. To be respected by my peers means so much to me. My teammate Heidi presented the award and said so many nice things. I had the privilege to present the award for Women's Super Domestique to the person responsible for me not only being on xXx, but for getting into racing. Gigi is one of the hardest working people on the team -- on the road and off -- and I was very happy to see her recognized.

I'm still off my bike. The weather was temperate enough for riding over the weekend, and I hated to miss the opportunity. But it was excellent to spend time with Jackie. I'm hoping the weather will cooperate over my xmas vacation days so I can get in some long outdoor rides. Otherwise, I'll have ample time to practice riding the rollers. Ugh.

The iPhone continues to revolutionize my life.

2008-12-13T21:21:00.000-06:00

Got an iPhone today. I feel like I'm on Star Trek.

2008-12-11T12:59:00.003-06:00

I LOVE that the little list of heart rate zones by age on the Lifecycle elliptical trainer in the fitness center here lists the 'fat-burning zone' and 'cardio zone' heart rates up to age 100. Its so hopeful.

2008-12-08T17:49:00.006-06:00

Rats. I just went to Velosnaps website and checked out her pics of the women's 4s race at Montrose Harbor yesterday. Unless they skipped a few racers, it looks like I came in 6th -- which isn't as good as I wanted but certainly better than the 8th that the posted results had. Rats.

It was a frustrating race for me. I got there early, in the bitter cold and snow, to pre-ride the course. Which was key to not falling 50 or a hundred times during the race. I learned how to ride the steep, slippery little descents with a narrow 90 degree turn at the bottom, how to ride up the steep, slippery little ascents with almost no momentum. How to ride through the sand trap, and the deep snow before the second barrier. So technically, I rode the course well.

Except for the start. Which I muffed. I just didn't go hard enough and ended up trapped behind some slower riders on the narrow, snowy path, while the race rode away from me. Arg. I ended up trading leads with an unattached rider -- I think the same woman who rode a single speed at Woodstock. She had gears yesterday and it made a difference. That and I just wasn't on my game.

The fabulous news is that my teammate Eileen CRUSHED the competition and won the state championship handily. No one was even close to her. It was awesome! JT also took the junior state champion title [he was very polite as he sped past me, calling out "Tamara! Coming by!" with a South Chicago Wheelman hot on his heels].

The really bad news is that my coach crashed in the men's master's race and ended up in the hospital. Broken ribs and a punctured lung. At least its now officially the off-season.

Speaking of which, I have two weeks off the bike. I need it.

Maybe I was a tad overdressed.

2008-12-03T09:50:00.003-06:00

In the face of the weather report for today, I caved and sat on the trainer for two hours this morning. The Lakefront Path is icy and I can't get a good workout in rush hour traffic. So I pedaled and watched "Fried Green Tomatoes." It was that or "Angel" reruns. I can only watch the news for so long --too many commercials, too much repetition. I missed the ending of the movie . . . but didn't they barbeque the abusive husband and serve him to the chinless police detective? Ew.

2008-12-02T09:07:00.002-06:00

Man, I'm really hating this snow.

I rode out early to attempt some cross intervals. The Lakefront path had been plowed, but there were long stretches of iciness. I could ride it, but not fast. I despaired. At Irving Park I got off my bike and jogged down to North, where I work. At least I got my heart rate up. And destroyed my shoe covers. Rats.

Rebecca Much passed me as I trotted along -- she was riding. Slowly.

Today is my birthday and I'm really sort of resenting that the weather isn't cooperating with me. My birthday last year was so awesome that this birthday was never going to be as good . . . but still. High point so far: my new knee socks.